• Storm@lemm.ee
    882·
    9 months ago

    Look. It’s pointless to compare yourself to others. Everyone does things at their own pace, on their own time. Who cares if someone has lost their virginity before you have? Genuinely, it doesn’t fucking matter. Life your own life, and speak your own truth.

    • Hyggyldy@sffa.communityEnglish
      471·
      9 months ago

      The virginity is less of an issue than 31 years of loneliness. Like, people say you don’t need a relationship to be happy and that’s true, but it really doesn’t fucking help in the slightest. It’s just a pointless platitude from people who don’t understand the pain.

      • jabberati@social.anoxinon.de
        101·
        9 months ago

        Having been in a long distance relationship during COVID, with times where I couldn’t meet my girlfriend for 12 and 18 months, I know just how the loneliness crushed me and how much happier I am now we’re married and living together.

        • Mario_Dies.wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          4·
          9 months ago

          Oof yeah. My husband and I shared a house, but we rarely talked or saw each other during that time because he works in healthcare. We lived in separate parts of the house and didn’t even observe holidays.

      • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
        417·
        9 months ago

        Men need to be learn to be emotionally intimate with their friends instead of expecting that out of a partner. Loneliness should not be synonymous with being single.

        • Hyggyldy@sffa.communityEnglish
          101·
          9 months ago

          Much like people who think relationship and sex are synonymous, you are vastly oversimplifying the range of human relationships.

          • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
            314·
            9 months ago

            No, I’m not. You do not need a romantic or sexual relationship to fulfill intimacy needs.

            • Confuzzeled@lemmy.world
              10·
              9 months ago

              Maybe you don’t but many people want a romantic and sexual relationship. There are many things that we don’t need to survive but make our lives vastly more enjoyable. I’ve had long term relationships and times where I’ve been single and while I enjoy my own company and the freedom being single I do miss the closeness of a romantic relationship. Friendships are great but it’s not the same.

              • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
                110·
                9 months ago

                I do miss the closeness of a romantic relationship. Friendships are great but it’s not the same.

                Get good at being closer to your friends.

  • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
    20·
    9 months ago

    I’ve heard that if you make it to 30, you become a wizard! Don’t be upset you’re a virgin, be glad that you’re still on the path to wizardry; for once you’ve left the path, you cannot return. Many a mortal have become enamored with animalistic rituals; casting aside their true potential in exchange for the temporary satisfaction of fulfilling their carnal desires. You, however, may still become a powerful wizard; one who’ll shock and awe the fools who so eagerly left the path of knowledge and metaphysical enlightenment.

    • Makeshift@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      9 months ago

      Hi I made it to 30 and no wizard powers yet.

      … Wait is anticheat on? I got a hacked client that automatically disabled my desire for partnered “fun time” so it made the grind to 30 with that status effect a lot easier.

      Did I miss out on wizard powers?!

  • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
    299·
    9 months ago

    Virginity is fake and made up.

    Also sex is fun but not some revelatory experience(but what do I know, Im just a lesbian, a group which famously has many more orgasms than average), eo not base your self esteem on having it or not having it.

    It also isn’t a substitute for intimacy, which when I talk to people who are weird about not having sex, I see them conflate needing a hug or to express their feelings with having sex.

    Rant over.

    • Bongles@lemm.ee
      251·
      9 months ago

      To be fair, Someone that has “more orgasms than average” saying not to worry about it is like a rich guy saying money doesn’t buy happiness.

      • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
        109·
        9 months ago

        No, it is like a rich guy saying “Money doesn’t make you more mature, spiritually enlightened or a better person”

    • eldain@feddit.nl
      6·
      9 months ago

      Thank you for your rant.

      To add: Your SO is not a replacement for a social network. Don’t hunt for the one, place people you click with at all distance levels as you get to know them. A healthy social network leads to healthy relationships.