• Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    i possess the pillow of time.

    it has the power to make hours literally fucking vanish but can also stretch minutes into entire lifetimes (depending on the time dilation factor of the dream, if there are dreams at all)

    it’s manufactured by purple.

      • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        so one year ago my mother and i had to move out of our house while it was undergoing extensive renovations while my father was dying of covid in a hospital. in fact… yeah, as i’m writing this, it’s the 25th, as of today it’s been one year since he passed away. DURING that time, we had to live in an extremely shitty awful apartment where these fuckers had the sheer GALL to charge us two grand a month despite a laundry list of problems that include very poor ventilation, not being able to set up basic fucking cable internet and phone because the coaxial line in the fucking place had been damaged inside the wall, and THE SHOWER, THAT FUCKING SHOWER, the water didn’t come out weak - it came out SLOW. It lazily dribbled out of the shower head like you were being PISSED ON and it was impossible to feel like you could get clean. I SHOWERED AT THE FUCKING GYM FOR EIGHT MONTHS.

        BUT

        i decided to buy a new mattress, pillow, and bedframe, intent on replacing the ones that were still in my room back at the house once the renovations were through,

        and i chose a purple mattress and a purple pillow

        i survived this cavalcade of abject fuckery because at the very goddamn least I could get a good night’s sleep.

        so yeah. for really really real. purple pillow is worth it.

  • Espi@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The gravity mattress, electromagnetic pillow, weak nuclear sheets and strong nuclear blanket