I’m tired of my parents being so religious. U can’t come out and I’m tired of it. They drag me to a church that actively hates us and get pissed I don’t like it. If I was put this would be worse probably. My mental health is going down the drain too. I literally just cut myself and I’m scared they will see the bandage. It just hurts that I can’t be bi at all and I’m probably going to have to go deeper in the closet if I don’t kill myself. I’m sorry I’m dumping all my problems idk where to go

  • sharpiemarker@feddit.de
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    1 year ago

    Hang in there friend.

    You won’t live with your parents forever. In the meantime, you might try to involve yourself in hobbies that are inclusive of LGBTQIA+ individuals like music or theater (or musical theater). Some extracurriculars like band or show choir MAY also have events over the weekend that could prevent you from having to go to church.

    • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I could try get into music. Good idea I just don’t know why I keep going. I’m 14 so even if I move out early I have at least 6 more yrs. The only reasons I had to live are my siblings and uo until June my now ex. Don’t know why I keep going. And now mh dumbass weakened my arm I can’t do much with it

  • Leafeytea@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Hi.
    I have been seeing you post quite a few threads of late. I am truly sorry they are giving you such a hard time. I think it is critical you get some kind of support, as in counseling. It might seem like people online might be able to help but there are limits to what can be accomplished and you deserve to have someone in your corner who can work with you on these issues. There are a number of places online that you can connect with counseling, specifically for lgbtq+ teens as well, if you care to look. l linked one that I know because they have done really great work for some of my friends’ families, but there are others. Hang in there.🌺

    • solanaceous@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      @sleepybisexual, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this terrible situation.

      I agree with the others that counseling could be useful, if you can access it safely. Please take care of your mental and physical health as best you can. I don’t know much about your situation, but it sounds like the kind of thing you can go through and be stronger on the other side. And one of the best ways to help your younger siblings not become bigots is if they can look up to you as they grow up. Once you can safely come out of the closet, they can understand that LGBTQ+ people are people just like them.

      Is there somebody on staff at your school, or a doctor in your area that you can reach out to? There may also be a number you can call in your area. These people are obligated to help you, even if your parents and church disagree.

      It’s a good idea to look into this, but double-check the policies in your area: in particular whether these services are legally required (and socially expected) to maintain confidentiality.

      • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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        1 year ago

        I don’t trust school staff and won’t be back in school for 2-3 months forgot length of holidays. My mental health is unstable and I’m worried I damaged my arm.

        • edgewater@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          im sorry you’re going through this baby. i cut up my arm pretty bad too once when i was a little older than you for similar reasons :(

          the biggest risk to your arm from cutting is nerve or connective tissue damage. do you have any numbness or tingling? do you have full range of motion in your fingers and wrist? can you stretch your fingers all the way out wide and then make a fist? i know testing all this hurts, but if you’re capable of doing all that and you’re not experiencing freaky nerve pain in your hand, you’re probably going to be ok long term.

          keep the wound clean and dry the best you can. you can apply vitamin e or scar cream too it when it’s more healed to reduce scaring.

          • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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            1 year ago

            My hand is OK i just can’t rotate my whole arm. Fingers work. I’m scared because my parents noticed my wounds

    • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I’m just scared to seek help and be honest about the extent of my problems. I hate my parents so much. As for my sh I’m scare di may have ficked up my arm

  • Dankenstein@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I have not seen my parents in many years and I am still dealing with mental trauma that I experienced as a child.

    Is the future scary for you? It’s scary for me, I don’t know when I will stop feeling anxious all the time or when I will stop sweating, shaking, and dissociating in social situations.

    I don’t regret staying around one bit, I’m a grown-ass man now, happy and married to someone I love very much but I didn’t always see hope for my own happiness.

    This isn’t the first post I’ve seen from you and I want you to know that I am genuinely concerned for your well-being, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know it’s probably hard to do so right now but please think of all the beauty and wonder that life has to offer, I can say with absolute certainty that I would have missed out if I went though with it all those years ago.

    • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, I’m scared of the future too. My downward spiral started in June when my now ex left me. He was everything to me. He was what got me through the month we knew each other. All I have left are my 2 younger siblings and its not like I can open up to them either they are too going to understand.

      I wouldn’t say my parents are abusive but I’m just tired of the shouting and high expectations. Everything I do is a problem for them.

      • Dankenstein@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I remember what thats like, horrible feeling but what it really did was force me to learn that my own happiness and how I affect the lives of others is what matters.

        It may or may not be worth looking into but have you considered mentioning family therapy or parent counseling?

        Having a licensed professional help guide your parents through the impact they’re having on your life as well as mediate a serious conversation about your mental health may be what solves your problems at home.

        Not something for everyone, I know (I tried), but it can be a very valuable tool for families that are interested in coming together and clearing the air with minds open to new or confusing topics/ideas.

        Edit: try to remember that your parents are just humans too and it’s possible that they have deep-rooted mental struggles involving their own sexuality and gender as well as the guilt/shame that can be associated with it.

  • mischk@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    I like to share my experience, because I also grew up withvery religious parents. Für church also was not tolerant with lgbt*people. I was 15 when I knew I am gay. I by myself was also religiouses and Welt ashamed and guilty as hell for my feelings that I had for another boy. I came out to my very best friends with the age of 18 and it took me 10 more years to come out to my parents. Life can be tough. Life is tough when you cant be yourself, vor Like me even cant accept yourself.

    Do yourself a favour and find someone to talk. Maybe there is a lgbt+ youth group or a similar organisation. They will help you geht through the hard times.

    I hope youll be alright, i hope youll get help and have vor find supercool friends who support you! 💜🏳️‍🌈

    Sorry im not a native english speaker.

    • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I just don’t know where to go. I’m scared. My left arm is a lot weaker and less mobile now. Tomorrow I’ll probably be caught if I don’t heal fast

  • bedrooms@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    It just hurts that I can’t be bi at all and I’m probably going to have to go deeper in the closet if I don’t kill myself.

    I think you feel like you’re not in control of your life. I was there.

    In real, you can take control. Professional (and scientific) helps like cognitive behavioral therapy will show that to you.

    In any case, it’s no problem to be bi. There’s a way to get out of this without harming your body. If you hesitate to meet professionals, there are self-help books like Feeling Good by David Burns, MD.

    Your parents influence your feelings because they’re parents, but they’re wrong on this one.