Health: the most fascist category of all

Bye! :3

Too tired to think or do.

Still kinda lost. Should I just go somewhere local and see what they got?

It’s cheaper on the below site. Are these the correct cartridges? Filters seem worse than the mask. Minimum purchase $101.

I don’t have one yet. That’s what I’m looking at. Do you have a specific place you buy them from? How often do you replace?

Based. Where do you get the filters for those? I’ve found like one pair possibly for twelve dollars.

Me

Fuck counterfactuals. Fuck calling them hypotheticals.

Feelin pretty content today.

Funny thing is people told me I seemed autistic, but I didn’t like them that much and was contrarian thinking it didn’t matter.

Real. I had friends last year but was too unstable and non-self aware to keep them around. Wish I knew I was autistic earlier. I like to think I don’t get bullied partially due to my confidence, idk.

Full of contradictions gang. <3

Totally. Being ignored is so ambiguous and worrisome and like no one cares. Having your average “difficulty with reciprocity in conversation” I’ve felt ignored a lot. Probably why I’m so eccentric and colorful and opinionated. People have stronger positive or negative reactions to me so I can feel seen and annoy them better to elicit more reactions.

sounds like maybe you work through things externally too,

There are times when I will announce extreme opinions only to totally contradict myself just because I need people to help me figure out what to think. I put the “and” in “back and white thinking.” Polar opposites both have reasonable probability of being correct. Many times I have asked a question online and had to lay out every opposing argument to my repliers because there’s too much information to decide what to believe.

Real. I’m scared people take me too seriously (or not seriously enough)* when I externally process, but it rarely stops me.

*I think the PDA just wants me to control, like everything else, what everyone thinks about me regardless of whether it’s positive or negative.

I apologize a ton as you see. “I have shown you all the opposing facts and exposed all the flaws in your arguments so can’t we come to a nice little compromise where I concede these things and you admit my correctness in other aspects?”

I won’t argue what I can’t defend and I can defend a lot of stuff. It’s nice when I have a partner to help me debate though. DMs are nice when you have a personal thing to work out, but it doesn’t always work.

Sometimes being an empath sounds better than being an apath, but I can see the downsides.

Reminding myself my present reduced need for stimulation doesn’t mean I’m superior to my past or through with that feeling forever or something like that. I’ve gone through this cycle before and I will again.