Sorry for posting something from last year but I just stumbled upon it and it’s just too not to share, made me laugh multiple times.
Bonus reply:
They’ve discovered 2017 libposting, we’re cooked
honestly it’s a solid post concept, say every good thing is because of your beliefs and every bad thing is because of the other guy’s beliefs. tried and true formula. if he had only only edited it to maybe a third of the length, dropping the weaker lines and improving the pacing, this could have been some effective slam poetry for idiots. unfortunately it’s too apparent that he overcommitted to the first draft.
It’d be much better and more coherent without the ”soy latte, so much gender, safe spaces” cliches, but they just have to pander to the audience that thinks this is peak humor.
communism’s achievements:
peace, medicine, vaccines, warm weather, the human emotion of joy, dogs, cats, ducks, pre-enshittified internet, gps
capitalism’s achievements:
death, hunger, pestilence, disease, famine, sadness, anxiety, crumbs in your bed, whatever the fuck sleet is (seriously that’s the worst weather), people who put no seasoning on their eggs
see? we win.
Fuck dude, I’ve read shorter novels
my side of history is that fish that swims into ur peehole when you wade in the shallows of the amazon river
I had to stop reading partway through when my brain started to hurt trying to parse it
My side of history is Cato the Elder
Obligatory reminder that Cato was criticized for cruelty and callousness even by other slaveowners. I don’t even want to read the rest, this dude seriously need limit of 120 characters, and also an axe and taiga.
“My side of history is american men and women disabled by an IED”
Wonder why they were where IEDs were an issue. Wonder if they got all the support they needed when they came back.
Weird thing to be proud of.
Americans are a weird breed. They openly acknowledge and lament about how their boys in green are blown up or have voices in their minds after coming back from war and getting no help. Then they sign up their children and their children’s children into the military and voluntarily continue the tradition of getting blown up without any help.
It’s also funny he ridicules anxiety. How much you wanna bet he complains about veterans getting PTSD? “Ummm just grow some balls tough guy. They’re just fireworks you snowflake!”
not only that but they scoff and spit whenever they see someone on the street asking for help of any kind
They’re real proud of getting owned in Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq.
Can’t believe I wasted like 4min of my life reading this
Liberals are apparently both communists and liberals at the same time according to the hog flavour of liberal.
Western politics is just pure brainworms, no thoughts, just pure vibes and rage programmed into them by the mass media.
Just like how Americans have accidentally convinced themselves that the propaganda of the USSR being only Russian is true, the liberals have accidentally convinced themselves that the propaganda of them being leftist and socialists is true - they keep calling themselves socialist and citing Sweden or Canada or Denmark as examples of socialist states lol
My side of history is William F. Buckley … Martin Luther King
In the 1950s and early 1960s, Buckley opposed federal civil rights legislation and expressed support for continued racial segregation in the South
(…)
Buckley visited South Africa in the 1960s on several paid fact-finding missions in which he distributed publications that supported the South African government’s policy of apartheid.Conservatives have to force themselves to pretend to like MLK because he’s a universal American hero and they cannot directly say they opposed his beliefs. But other conservatives may literally only grew up learning about his “I have a dream speech,” and only care about the whole “judging by one’s character” line and nothing more. I think he was also a republican, so they have no choice but to say they like him as well as Lincoln because they want to monopolize the “anti racism” discussion
He is quite literally their one black friend that they always bring up unprompted to excuse their racist behavior
How the fuck are you both condemning draft dodging, and celebrating Monet, a draft-dodger? I know there are more egregious ones, but this one is just utterly baffling.
Imagine thinking draft dodging is bad lmfao