I guess this could just as easily be posted in an anti-work community

  • MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    These are fun. For any other CEOs reading along, here’s your new policy/advertisement:

    • Furniture Row could convert every employee workstation to standing only.
    • Starbucks could require every staff member to go caffeine free.
    • Underarmor could set a black tie dress code for all employees.
    • Master lock could shut down their staff gym citing uncontrolled theft from lockers.
    • Grayhound could ban employees from traveling together to events.
    • General Mills could establish a rewards program for employees who participate in a daily morning fast until lunchtime.
    • Atlassian and Salseforce could shift their internal help desks to in-person only with 100% paper records.
    • Peterbilt could start an incentive program that reimburses staff for buying local.
    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago
      • Microsoft could require Macs for all employees.

      • Xfinity could only offer dialup at their offices.

      • Dairy Queen could only hire diabetics.

      • The cafeteria at Purdue Farms headquarters could be all-vegan.

      • Barnes and Noble staff must have a library card and check out books regularly.

      • Amazon delivery drivers must have their license suspended.

      • Bed, Bath and Beyond could require their floor staff to only come in if they haven’t showered.

    • Echo Dot
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      1 year ago

      IKEA now only buy from furniture row.

      Boeing ban employees from taking aircraft, citing safety concerns with their aircraft.

      USPS require all packages be delivered by courier - I can actually see that one happening

    • Echo Dot
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      1 year ago

      Atlassian and Salseforce could shift their internal help desks to in-person only with 100% paper records.

      That would probably be an improvement for Salesforce. I truly hate their software. It’s god awful.