Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice.
Out of 17 case managers, only 2 have been male. Female cms: detailed, logical, responsive, solution oriented, clear effective communication. Male cms, the opposite.
I try to communicate clearly, effectively, which is easy cuz autism, and the 2 male cms, i get constant 2nd guessing, passive-aggressive defensiveness. Get impression they’re automatically assuming I don’t think clearly, don’t know what I’m saying. It’s weird, and I can’t figure out why.
I know not all men are the same. I’m not like all women. Have I just been unlucky with these 2 cms, or is there a gender aspect to this I’m not understanding? I’d like to learn.
It may be that the gender difference is magnifying any social/communication issues that are already there because of being ND. I know I’ve always found it harder to make myself feel understood by women compared to men, and I’m also autistic.
I’ve observed that both genders have different communication styles they expect to use, both with the same gender and with the opposite, and these are all the sort of dreaded unwritten social rules that we tend to struggle with as NDs. So a man tends to expect to conduct himself a different way with another man versus with a woman, and a woman expects to conduct herself a different way with other women than with men. The difference is subtle and mostly subconscious from what I can tell. Most people don’t realize they are doing it, but NDs are often paying attention to different things than what NTs are in terms of body language, word choice, social cues, etc., so we pick up on it more, even though we don’t always understand it.
Thank you. As woman with autism, it’s weird. Women nts, some tend to unconsciously expect me to behave like a woman. They operate with stereotypes, assume women should be emotional, touchy feely, into romantic comedies, etc. So when I’m logical, to the point, talk about math, science, some can’t compute. And some guys, they expect me to behave as a stereotypical female, treat me as such. Then they realize I’m not, am logical, etc, and their demeanor changes, start treating me as one of the guys.
I’ve met compassionate, emotional men, and analytical nerdy women. Just, so weird, how gender becomes such a big deal for some.
I know it is not your intention, but many of your comments imply that neurotypical women are incapable of logic. Or that they somehow deserve to be treated as if they are incapable of logic while you deserve better.