• LesbianLiberty [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    Fucking christ, I don’t want to doxx myself more than I may have with the crumbs I’ve left behind on my current account, but, I’ve had to deal with these god damn losers to much too. I’ve made myself a pretty public face in a lot of local scenes which contain a lot of white people calling themselves anarchists; and when I joined PSL and started being open about like “Hey we’re organizing this for Palestine” I got nothing but hate from these crackers. They’re chauvinistic, deluded motherfuckers who pick on women and minorities because it’s easier. I genuinely don’t know how to deal with these fucking people, it’s bizarre, there’s so many connections that I considered friends but as soon as I started actually doing what I’ve been preaching (I’ve been an open communist for years, everyone knows) I’m suddenly enemy number one. It’s been absolutely fucking terrible and has eroded my mental health, for what it’s even worth, severely.

    Right now I think we’re finding that ML organizations are beginning to gain steam because there’s people like me who’ve become completely disillusioned with the anarchist and “horizontal” organizing that’s lead to jack and shit getting done or accomplished. ML organizations are the groups which have been able to articulate most meaningfully how this struggle is connected and have, in my experience, worked most successfully with local Palestinian and other anti-imperialist groups; this is why I joined PSL for god’s sake! But jokers like this, useless self-defeating white chauvinistic people like this, I don’t know what the hell to do with them. If we’re not able to get past people like this as a movement for liberation, we’ll get nowhere, their anti-intellectualism and adventurist tendencies (as well as general tendency for dramatic bullshit) are so counterproductive that it will lead to a new failed left if there’s not a well-reasoned, articulated, and popular resistance against people like this. Fucking sick of it.

    Edit: And to add, I’ve had to deal with so much paternalistic bullshit from white guys in their 30s who consider themselves “very serious organizers” who after lengthy conversations simply fall back onto thought terminating cliches (authoritarianism) or just outright threats of violence towards me and my friends. I have so much frustration built up it’s ridiculous, I wish to god there was a clear solution but I nor anyone around me who’s in a similar position can articulate it.

    • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
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      2 months ago

      Edit: And to add, I’ve had to deal with so much paternalistic bullshit from white guys in their 30s who consider themselves “very serious organizers” who after lengthy conversations simply fall back onto thought terminating cliches (authoritarianism) or just outright threats of violence towards me and my friends.

      What you said is deadass why I stopped organizing with crackers. I save my time, my energy, and my effort for explicitly Black causes at this point because I’m sick of the paternalism, I’m sick of the insistence on assimilation, I’m sick of the tone policing, I’m sick of the liberal optic games. The next cracker to talk down to me in a ‘left’ offline space is getting his nose broken; so I’m tryna avoid that assault charge for as long as I humanly can.

      Like, it fucks me off so damn bad; I used to think my oldheads were just being backwards, recalcitrant oldheads about white folk and increasingly commonly these days, I find myself just "damn, my OGs were really right about y’all". That thought alone pisses me off bc if they’re right, that means a solid half of this bullshit society spent my formative years lying that we’d ever get past this together, rather than apart; and I really don’t know how to deal with that anymore than to protect my peace, and that of my community.

      • LesbianLiberty [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, it’s depressing as hell. The only “radical” community I know of is overwhelmingly white and filled with these clowns. And it really is just like, a small, annoying, and vocal minority who won’t shut the fuck up, but the part that hurts the most is others’ indifference to it or eventual compliance after being beat down emotionally. It’s making me realizing that recruiting by trying to scrape off the surface of social scenes is maybe a start but not a feasible long term strategy, but, we don’t have unions nor connections into them. I feel like we’ve utterly lost any base as far as I can understand, except for other “intellectuals”. We really need to wait until things get far, far worse to begin getting the numbers we need because that’s only when our message will resonate, I think, but until then? I’m so fucking lost, personally, but I don’t want to depress my comrades with it. This Palestine stuff has been great, but, our victories are for the media, our pressure isn’t working. I don’t know, I’m so god damn lost.

        For the record too, I’m white, I grew up in a small rural town (sub 5k). I’ve understood the depravity of white people as a result of white supremacy for a while now, but only in short bursts where their mask falls or on an intellectual level. This is the first time I’ve understood the depravity of whiteness on a real, sustained level. I don’t even know how I’d organize outside of that, I don’t want to just be like some white person trying to enter other communities I’ve never been a part of. It’s a depressing position, frankly.

    • immuredanchorite [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      2 months ago

      Don’t let this get to you, keep working to build a movement. I am sorry a lot of your friends are so unprincipled and have decided to act antagonistically toward you. it actually should be against their interests, but they live in an idealist bubble that is only maintained through policing the morality of other organizers through informal power structures and exclusion. These anarchist/chauvinists are in fact only a small minority even if they are very prevalent in inward-facing organizing circles, it is only a symptom of the defunct history & nature of the US left and the discontinuity in the US communist movement. However “very serious” these “organizers” are, they are not representative of the masses of people which is what we are looking to organize. Don’t worry about them. I think their influence in the movement for Palestinian liberation is being very exaggerated in this thread, a lot of it seems to focus on the PNW. Most parts of the country don’t have such a large anti-communist-left scene, and the student movement is a real mass movement that has incorporated so many different communities, most of this stuff becomes completely irrelevant day-to-day

      • LesbianLiberty [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, I just. It’s fucking annoying. To be clear too, from what I’ve noticed, they benefit from red bashing so I don’t think it’ll end, only escalate. They get both the social credit of moral purity, and if I’m being honest these are mostly pretty comfortable people who if there was a shakeup of how the economy worked, they would lose out heavily, so they benefit by not having to challenge the hand that feeds them fundamentally.