N.B. misandry is not real because men are not systemically oppressed (uninternalize your reddit MRA today: men suffer some drawbacks under the patriarchy but ultimately still maintain it due to the large amount of privileges they receive under it!)

  • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    1 month ago

    that’s misandry, even if it isn’t systematic

    no, that’s patriarchy and still systemic. the expectation of men to fulfill specific dominant roles in society is a consequence of a gendered hierarchy, not the whims of individuals. were there absolutely no gendered stereotypes or expectations for a position, and a man was passed over on account of being a man, that could be an example of individualistic misandry… but i can’t even think of an example for that. like every job ever has these arbitrary prejudices

    • 420blazeit69 [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      1 month ago

      We agree this type of prejudice is bad, so why even argue that misandry doesn’t exist? Arguing definitions is not a good way to talk to people about these issues.

      Compare:

      “Sure, that prejudice you experienced was misandry, but do you see how that’s a larger symptom of patriarchy creating gendered roles in the workplace?”

      With this:

      “What you’re talking about doesn’t exist, claiming it exists is reactionary, it is actually patriarchy.”

      • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        1 month ago

        why attempt to cede to a misunderstanding in order to get a ‘foot in the door’ to talk to someone instead of fully and correctly explaining it? i’ll cosign on not jumping to calling a random man a reactionary for expressing their feelings of constraint and friction under patriarchy, but sympathetic rhetoric should not compromise the central ideas of the theory. you wouldn’t teach LTV without explaining the limitations of supply-demand curves

        • 420blazeit69 [he/him]@hexbear.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          9
          ·
          edit-2
          1 month ago

          There is no “correct” here. It’s social theory; we don’t have a provable, exact answer, we’re dealing with words and definitions that people use in multiple ways. The terminology is far less important than getting agreement on the sentiment, and eventually getting people to take action in a better direction.

          So what’s the use of arguing that this concept that already exists in language isn’t actually real? To me, the only difference between the two example statements I gave above is that more people will tune out the latter (even if you drop the accusation of being reactionary, which is hard to imagine in practice).

          • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            10
            ·
            1 month ago

            The terminology is far less important than getting agreement on the sentiment, and eventually getting people to take action in a better direction

            what’s wrong if some people use rhetoric that rejects misandry vs. not then? clearly the former still works or there wouldn’t be people advocating it here

            but i’ll explain how this discourse functions anyway: misandry is semantically coequal to misogyny. they have the same prefix and suffix, they’re used the same way. it is not unreasonable to think these equivalent words describe equivalent things, that’s how words usually work. what i want to avoid is validating this, because it does not reflect reality. in rejecting misandry, we hop over the semantic hurdle and contextualize struggles of men in the system of oppression they live in, where it is never unclear whose oppression is salient–patriarchy.

            • 420blazeit69 [he/him]@hexbear.net
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              1 month ago

              what’s wrong if some people use rhetoric that rejects misandry vs. not then?

              “Misandry doesn’t exist” is a debatable position that gets you little or nothing even if you win the argument. From what I’ve seen, statements like this also lead to unproductive turns like “and if you disagree you’re a reactionary” in a way “misandry is a symptom of patriarchy” doesn’t.

              it is not unreasonable to think these equivalent words describe equivalent things

              Fair point, but it’s easily cleared up by saying that misogyny exists systematically in a way misandry doesn’t.

              • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                9
                ·
                1 month ago

                but it’s easily cleared up

                i don’t think this thread would have so many comments if this was true agony-soviet

                in any case i don’t think we’re fundamentally at odds having chased this argument into the very small redoubt of ‘what pedagogy works best’, i won’t complain if you teach a man to be less shit with “misandry is a symptom of patriarchy” stalin-heart