• lolcatnip@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    37
    arrow-down
    7
    ·
    21 days ago

    People change. They discover things about themselves. Their goals change. Of course anyone thinking of getting married should try to uncover any potential deal breakers before committing, but it’s still no guarantee they won’t encounter unsolvable problems later.

    • Zeritu@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      8
      ·
      21 days ago

      I know and that’s also not what I said.

      unsolvable problems

      That’s the key word right here. Two panels of “you know, I’m feeling boyish” “and I kinda want to have kids” isn’t “trying to solve it and realizing it’s not possible”, that’s just “starting to share feelings and needs”. The way this story is told just suggests that this slight notion of plans no longer being aligned perfectly warrants a divorce, which is far from what that legal construct of “we’re a financial union now which means we can royally fuck up each other’s lives if we feel like it” should entail. This isn’t a story of unsolvable problems, this is the story of two people that don’t take the legal responsibility they got into seriously. It suggests a lighthearted approach to getting divorced that is so far from the possible legal fallout of it that I just think it’s absurd.

      If this was a comic that told years of them trying to meet each other’s needs and not being able to, I’d be on the same page. But that’s not the story that was told here. There wasn’t a single panel where either person even just tried to suggest how things might still work for them or find some common ground. No panel about acknowledging the other person’s desires and trying to merge them with one’s own needs. The comic was “I feel this”, “I feel that”, “great, let’s just happily divorce”, which is absurd as soon as we’re talking about anything that’s beyond teenage finances.

      • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        20 days ago

        They’re talking about wanting children. Disagreeing on that is absolutely an unsolvable problem.

        • Zeritu@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          20 days ago

          It certainly is if you don’t talk about it. There may be various middle grounds here but you won’t find them if you just get divorced.

          • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            20 days ago

            Buddy, let me explain something to you. I do not want children. Ever. If I were married to someone who decided they wanted children, I would for sure get a divorce, because there is no compromise to be made. Having a child is all or nothing. You can’t halfway become a parent.

            Of course, anyone I might marry would understand why a divorce is necessary and wouldn’t fight me on it.

          • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            20 days ago

            That’s why the very first panel says “several months ago”, not “several seconds ago”

      • TheHarpyEagle@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        20 days ago

        Well, it’s a comic, not a documentary. Yeah in real life this would take a lot of discussion and a long time, but this is a comic about how you can find out that your desires no longer align and still be friends.