Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I’m curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.

How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?

    • ChexMax@lemmy.world
      9·
      11 days ago

      I’ve gotten the whistle. Only when I was a teenager though. Seems the type of man who whistles doesn’t like adult women

    • Pandantic@midwest.socialEnglish
      6·
      11 days ago

      No, more like “Hey, baby!” and “Nice ass!” A couple of times they yelled, “Bitch!” or something similar after, which makes me feel a bit threatened so I watch for the car the rest of the walk, which is annoying and inconvenient.

      • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
        5·
        11 days ago

        I wonder if that stuff ever works and guys hear about a friend of a friend who got a date that way, or if they’re all just independantly shouting into the void.

        I could almost imagine someone responding positively to “nice ass”, but “Bitch” is just obviously never gonna work. That’s some incel energy there.

        • Pandantic@midwest.socialEnglish
          6·
          11 days ago

          I think it’s about power or a different mindset (as in, “they will take it as a compliment”). And the “Bitch” was only after I didn’t turn around to look at them when they yelled the “compliment”, I think. They didn’t get the response they wanted so they determined I was a bitch.

          • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
            4·
            11 days ago

            I try to do drive by compliments, but not while literally driving … Just stuff like “cool hat!” and walk off so they don’t need to respond or engage with me.

            I would like to be told I have a nice ass, but that’s because it doesn’t happen (even though I think I deserve it). It sounds like being hit on often cheapens it.

            • Pandantic@midwest.socialEnglish
              3·
              11 days ago

              I do drive-by compliments too, especially if someone is sporting a fandom I like. I think it’s different when it’s a stranger complimenting a body feature - it implies sexual attraction which can feel objectifying and, unfortunately in the world we live in, unsafe. I don’t know this person, I just know they felt comfortable enough to anonymously shout a comment about a sexual part of my body, so what else do they feel comfortable enough to do?

              • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
                2·
                11 days ago

                Gotcha. Yeah, I would never comment on a stranger’s body/face/smell. Even if I don’t mean anything by it, creepy is in the eye of the beholder.