• schroed4 [he/Him] @lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Most people can’t just move on when they see something that distrubs them, and I think it would be unhealthy for most to change.

    • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      agreed! criticism and folding received criticism (even when it’s offered abrasively) back into your own behavior is essential. this was one of the motivators in disabling downvotes.

      • schroed4 [he/Him] @lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I expect it likely works quite well in a community where everyone knows and agrees to that. In my opinion, when the pond gets too big it becomes too hard to tell if what the abrasive-but-fair from the just-being-a-jerk comments

        Like, I was distracted for hours and couldn’t sleep then couldn’t work because of a side-comment insult im a post because it went against someone I strongly believe in. Had to research everything that was being said in the post and carefully reply to move on. That is not the life I want for myself. Don’t know how much of that really apply here, since like someone else said, I haven’t actually seen ‘mean’ hexbear comments outside of hexbear, and never gotten one.

        • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          In my opinion, when the pond gets too big it becomes too hard to tell if what the abrasive-but-fair from the just-being-a-jerk comments

          firm moderation goes a very long way. if someone is just being a jerk, it’s time to remove the comment. if they’re doing it repeatedly, they need to be banned. doesn’t solve everything but we’ve built a very solid community following this approach over the past 3 years. we’re very tight-knit as a result.

          That is not the life I want for myself.

          no worries, it’s not for everyone.