There is one mission in Mirror’s Edge Catalyst that I absolutely fucking hate even to this day. And if you have played the game and suffered through this mission yourself, then trust me, you know DAMN why. I truly have never wanted to throw my controller across the room in a fit of rage as much as I did when trying to complete this mission I am about to say the name of. I truly despise it with a burning passion. It is my least favorite mission of the game for VERY obvious reasons.

The mission is… drum roll… ah, who fucking cares, it’s the goddamn “Tickets, Please” mission, the second to last main campaign mission. Whoever decided to make this fucking mission as broken and difficult as it is should be forced to play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on the NES. This mission is the fucking WORST mission of the entire game, and is required to access The Shard, the final mission of the main campaign. In my opinion, The Shard is Mirror’s Edge Catalyst at its best, so getting through that goddamn mission was worth it. And it was a fucking beautiful structure to parkour through, too.

I cannot explain in WORDS how much of a fucking nightmare this mission was to complete. It just ruins the entire flow of Mirror’s Edge Catalyst. I can handle boring-ass filler missions like Scouting the Port from Grand Theft Auto 5, but not when they have broken and shitty physics like the one from this fucking mission. Like, literally. It is the most broken-ass mission of the entire game.

I had multiple problems even starting the mission in the first place. They fucking expected players to jump to the first control hub with only a small little edge of a roof as guidance. Guess what? Constantly missed the jump. Multiple times. Couldn’t even get past the first part of the goddamn mission which should have been the easiest part! I literally felt like I was going fucking mad hearing the same goddamn dialogue over and over again! “Good, you’re there! Good, you’re there! Good, you’re there! Good, you’re there!” SHUT THE FUCK UP! Please, shut the fuck up! I am tired of hearing the same goddamn lines over and over!

And once I finally had the goddamn patience to finally understand how to get to the first control tower, I now had to deal with the dreaded platform. Which I constantly died to as well, go figure. So more hearing the goddamn “Good, you’re there!” dialogue again until I got the fucking hang of it and could have the ability to fucking move on and be done with this shit. I actually got fed up hearing that opening dialogue over and over. Holy shit, I’ve heard it enough times! Let me move on! Let me play the fucking game!

I finally got the hang of it, beat the goddamn first control hub (finally), and finally could move on to the second one. But now, I now had to deal with the worst part of the entire mission (and game as well!) in my opinion; the horrible, awful, and worst thing(s) to ever disgrace this godforsaken game - THE MOVING PLATFORMS. Yes, the platforms in the second tower now moved on top of being small as hell. So, now, I had to figure out where the hell to stop the towers to be able to land on them and move upwards on the tower.

But, because they’re ‘moving platforms’, they’re 10x worse than the regular platforms from the first control tower. Holy shit, I died more goddamn times to these fucking moving platforms than I have died to anything else in the entire fucking game. The fact that the platforms moved only made me prone to falling off of them even more likely. I literally died 15 fucking times to the moving platforms on the second control hub. It was a fucking nightmare!

It didn’t help that the game was kicking my ass with the broken and shitty physics and animation systems. The fucking moving platforms on the second control hub made up a lot of my deaths during the mission. When I say this mission ruins the flow of the game, I fucking mean it. Mirror’s Edge Catalyst is supposed to be a fast-paced parkour game, but in this mission, you are literally fighting against the physics engine and doing a boring fucking task of hacking antennas connected to some sort of transit system in the City of Glass. Even if the mission didn’t have these fucking issues, it would still be a useless filler mission with no purpose.

This second control hub nearly broke me to the fucking point with its stupid-ass moving platforms, and the game’s shitty physics didn’t help one bit. At one point, I did the most logical course of action - I gave up. Quite literally. I said “Fuck this,” and quit playing. Was not far from rage quitting and throwing my controller across the room. But then, I took a breather, decided to give this goddamn “Tickets, Please” mission one more fucking shot even though I gave myself clear signs I should quit playing and try again later.

And when that didn’t work, and the second control hub started doing the same shit again as last time, I actually gave up this time. Put the controller down, cooled down by watching some YouTube videos. It took my mind off of the frustration and rage that came from fucking with that goddamn mission over and over and it really calmed me down. Before I knew it, I was relieved and relaxed, just sitting back watching YouTube, not even caring to even bother to complete the mission as it was now completely out of my mind.

But then, I decided to give it one last shot. But I was sure as hell not going to fuck around with the shitty physics again, so I decided the best course of action would be to watch a walkthrough on the mission. Found a walkthrough within seconds of searching. It was labeled as Mission 18 according to this walkthrough, and decided that it was to be my last resort. If this walkthrough didn’t work, I would be 100% done with Mirror’s Edge Catalyst, and would completely uninstall the game at that point and never look back on it.

But before I watched the walkthrough, I made SURE to read all of the comments to see if people were just as pissed off with this mission as much as I was. And I was definitely not alone. So many other people were sick and tired of this stupid mission in the game. One of the comments said that it broke them to the point and caused them to next-level rage quit by throwing the game into the bin (trash can). Fucking insane that ONE shitty mission can result in a game being trashed.

And after I read all of the comments, I decided to watch the video, get the game booted up, and follow along with exactly what the person was doing in the video. I breezed and zoomed past the first control hub, and then came to my archnemesis up to that point, which was the second control hub. And by following along with the walkthrough video, I finally got past that fucking second control hub, and finally was able to move on to the third and last one of the mission.

I was not going to let this goddamn broken-ass mission get the better of me for the 16th time in a row, so I paid close attention to the video, and followed along, making sure to do exactly what the person in the video does, at the exact moments they do it. I fought the physics, and made sure not to screw even the smallest thing up. Even screwing the TINIEST thing up could set me back minutes, and at this point, I was NOT having it. I was sick and fucking tired of redoing this mission over and over again. I was going to put a fucking end to it. Finally put a fucking rest to it. Finally move on and finish the goddamn story. So, to me, it was now, or never. I was going to finish this mission and finish the campaign, or I was never going to touch the game again.

And then, with less than a minute to spare…I beat the last control hub, finally beating “Tickets, Please”. I jumped with joy and relief, finally to be done with that nightmare. I flipped off the screen and said “FUCK YOU YOU GODDAMN PLATFORMS”. I was just happy to finally be done with that goddamn mission. I sure as hell wasn’t going to put up with its bullshit again. I had enough. I had to end it. And I finally did. It was a waste of time, it should not have taken that fucking long to finish.

Fuck. That. Mission. Like, seriously. I fucking hate “Tickets, Please” with a firery, and burning passion even to this day. That mission, if it made me angry enough, could have been my first ever rage quit. The whole fucking mission is full of shitty physics and small-ass platforms, and it just ruins the entire flow of the game. But, by God, I got through the bullshit, was able to play “The Shard”, and finally beat the campaign. Put the game down because of that stupid “Tickets, Please” mission after I finally beat the campaign, and I haven’t touched the game ever since.

Fuck you, “Tickets, Please”. FUCK. YOU. I will never not despise you.

You can go to Hell for the goddamn pain and suffering you caused me.