Timing the start of something is not a simple process. Punishing people for being late disproportionately impacts poor and disabled people. Not all of us can drive a car or even have a car to drive. We might have to wait on other people, or use public transportation, and the more steps we add to the process the more likely something is to go wrong. Punishing people for being late is systematic oppression towards these groups. This punishment can include starting without people, especially if that itself is framed as a punishment.

“Let the late ones be late and miss out (they can read the minutes), and reward the prompt ones by not wasting their time”

From the rusty’s rules of order, something the IWW uses to organize. They are ableist.

On the other hand, waiting too long to start can impact people with limited time or energy. Not everyone can stay awake an extra hour just to wait for something to start.

This means that there is not one singular solution for how to start things (although obviously don’t do punishment). In small groups the best solution is to talk things over with everyone and get an idea for what everyone wants to happen, what can go wrong, and plans to mitigate any potential issues. If public transportation is running late, maybe someone with a car can go pick you up.

For large groups, most things do not need a strict starting time. If it is a large group and it requires strict attendance then you brought hierarchy into it long ago and ableism and such was always the conclusion you were going to get anyways.

  • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Using public transport has meant I tend to arrive between 10 minutes to an hour early :/ But also means the limits on my time are more rigid;I can’t hang around until late waiting for something because the I’ll miss the last bus or have to wait an extra two hours or something.

    Also, if something will take 5 minutes (say, moving a couch from one part of the house to another), having a 2 hour window where I’m sitting around waiting for someone to show up sucks. It’s not that my time is more important, it’s that my time isn’t 30 times less important either.

    Idk if it’s ablest, I seem to have gotten the audhd where I’m extremely punctual to the point of self sacrifice, but all my friends got the one where they always arrive two hours late to everything. I always feel like I’m the one compromising.

    No idea what to do. My brain is fried

    • RosethornRanger [it/its, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      3 months ago

      things can be done with a smaller group of people that aren’t a punishment for the person arriving late, I do not mean to say nothing should happen. What I’m saying is if something rigidly requires the participation of everyone it should be reworked so that it does not.

      I am in the same boat with public transportation, and what I do is things with a smaller group that the people arriving wouldn’t want to participate in in the first place. Punishing people for arriving early is just as harmful as punishing people for arriving late, I did not mention it because I do not see people advocate for that specifically.

      waiting for people definitely does suck, and I know the feeling about being the one always compromising.

      • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        I don’t know about punishment, but I can certainly understand the frustration if you’re time poor.

        My chosen social groups of hippies and goths are sometimes frustrated by me arriving early or on time, but not to the point of uninviting me to stuff or yelling at me.

        • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          As a punk, I know shows start on punk time which is at least an hour and a half after whenever the flyer says and everyone is a half hour late to everything at least.