In 3rd grade we had someone’s parent come to class to show us how to make bread. We were told to make ours into a unique shape we could identify. Our teacher and the bread person were helping kids make braids and knots and pretzels. I made that exact head. (ok maybe it was a bit different but close enough)

The bread person came over and was all like “I dont think it will keep that shape as it bakes because bread rises” and I was like “I know how bread works,” (my tone was more like, I’m 9 not a idiot) “I wanna see what happens” and the baker was like “ok. I just don’t want you to be disappointed”

We had gym class while the bread was getting baked and after gym our bread was ready. My bread face looked even better baked than before. Some how the rising didn’t mess up the features and they browned more than the rest of the face making it them stand out beautifully. but that smug jerkoff was nowhere to be found.

I know they saw it when they took it out of the oven but they fucked off before I could rub it in their face that I, a fucking 9 year old, understood the principals of bread baking better than them. I remember being more disappointed at that than being stoked about how well my head bun turned out.

“Cracker with Turmeric and Pepper” sounds like a racist UK comedy troupe from the 70s. They look delicious, though.