As a shut in with social anxiety and very introverted I’m wondering how to find friends now that I got better. Basically starting from zero since I know nobody in my city so I’m wondering if someone has some experience with finding friends as lonely anxious introvert and just how other people find friends.

  • Vibi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    15 hours ago

    Recently…they’ve kind of just adopted me. I’m incredibly shy, but I had been going to a little local coffee shop (just to get out of the house) and always tried to be kind and engage with the people working there when they would talk with me. I had a few really emotional weeks, and one of the owners picked up on it. She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her. She ended up inviting me to a little Halloween pumpkin painting night with some of her friends, and I connected with them super well! Now they invite me out to little activities, food, movie nights, etc.

    That’s kind of how I’ve meant most of the friends I’ve had- be kind, be interested, and be present! People get more comfortable the more they see you around, so even if you’re a little shy or awkward, someone might extend a hand and bring you into their circle.

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her.

      That is awesome. I wish men got this kind of support when they are showing distress in public.

      edit: I should clarify, not the ‘giving phone number’ part, just some support. In my experience men who look like they are suffering in any way are just actively avoided.

      • darkstar@sh.itjust.works
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        10 hours ago

        Never really thought of that, but it’s so true how men showing distress just get avoided or ignored…