• GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    blamed women for not dating me instead of (correctly) identifying myself as the problem (low self esteem, depression, etc)

    I don’t think you should blame women, but isn’t it the case that society provides fucked up standards for both men and women to be judged against, and that trickles down to some individuals being socially ostracized? Maybe it was all your fault, but that’s not something that can be generalized.

    That and you really come across as blaming yourself for your depression. Maybe you were just a miserable loser and it was just a mindset problem, but having a mental disorder is nothing to blame yourself for.

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      That and you really come across as blaming yourself for your depression.

      Maybe I could have phrased it better, I’m not blaming myself for being depressed, that’s just luck of the draw/the horrifying reality of living in this world, but staying in and avoiding all human contact isn’t exactly conducive to meeting people, let alone forming deeper relationships. So I guess I’m blaming depression itself for it, and that was exacerbated by capitalism.

      Not to make light of it but I almost miss my old highschool depression that was all self loathing instead of this pit of grief but I’m going to stop myself from traumadumping here lol

      • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 days ago

        I was offering it mainly because I thought it wasn’t the case. People usually don’t spend significant portions of their life in a funk without there being some diagnosable mental problem involved (whether inborn, traumagenic, or otherwise).

        You’re not just a miserable loser heart-sickle and I like your posts.

        • bigboopballs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          3 days ago

          People usually don’t spend significant portions of their life in a funk without there being some diagnosable mental problem involved (whether inborn, traumagenic, or otherwise).

          I definitely have mental problems, but I don’t think anything out there can help me (including therapy) and I don’t know what to do anymore.

          • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            3 days ago

            I certainly can’t help you. I think one thing that is good about therapists is that, even if talking to them doesn’t help inherently, they can often use their great amount of knowledge about you to recommend something that might help you more, like psychiatry or support groups.

            But people have the ability to change for the better, they always do until they die, and that includes you. As a stranger on the internet, I have no idea how to help you, but I am certain that you can be helped because you’re a human who can communicate and take in new information.