I’m in the same boat, but one day I just stopped talking and started listening, mostly as a social experiment on myself. Now everyone thinks that I’m really smart. It tears me up inside sometimes, but I like the outcome.
“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
Especially in online meetings with no camera. Without seeing body language, I often think people are done talking so I start talking, but they were just resting between sentences. Oof.
Online is the worst–I think the slight delay is a big factor as well. We both start before either realizes the other was speaking and it’s very uncomfortable.
But also I’m just a bad interrupter. I often have an idea I’m so excited about I just blurt it out without even thinking about the fact that someone else is in the middle of speaking. I don’t know why I’m like this, I’ve tried to stop and I have made some progress but it still happens way too much. Best progress I’ve made so far is rudely start talking, realize 1 second later I should not have, apologize, and tell the other person to keep going.
One thing that kinda helped for me is realising that nobody will care about my point, if they’re still thinking about the point they want to make themselves. Realising that helps me wait.
Only downside is that I then sometimes miss other points, and sometimes also forget my own point still.
I’ve had a lot of people, including professionals hypothesize that I might have it. When I was younger I was very opposed to psychiatry and behavior altering meds so I didn’t really take them seriously or cooperate with their attempts to find out. But I think it’s possible.
I’ll echo what others are suggesting and say give it a look.
I went undiagnosed for years and really struggled with a number of things. I’d talk over people, interrupt, and finish peoples sentences (to name a few that may resonate with you.) I was consciously aware of what I was doing and frequently battled the urge to do it. I eventually went and got diagnosed …and holy hell what a difference it made. It was no longer urgent to express an idea before it was lost to the “noise.” It wouldn’t hurt to speak with a doctor / specialist about it; you have nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain.
As it happens most ADHD symptoms are normal human things …just with the logic/priority controller broken. Offering an observation isn’t diagnosing - it’s providing a conversation point. Maybe bring it down a notch there man.
There are things to get preachy about: this ain’t one of em.
Op seems to be on a bit of a crusade - don’t let it get to ya. While I’ll agree that recommending drugs specifically isn’t particularly helpful: I imagine you made the recommendation because you believe that the poster may have ADHD… which could be a thing they may want to look into. A lot of people go undiagnosed and are positively miserable as a result. It wouldn’t hurt to edit your original post with: strikeout and clarify your reasoning. I think your heart was in the right place ✌️
It’s a crusade to push back on negative habits I see around me? What makes it a crusade instead of just pushback against a normalization inside this community that doesn’t always help and the trend-ization of a medical issue that shouldn’t be a fad?
I agreed with your perspective on not suggesting drugs, however you seemed equally defensive about the mere mention of ADHD as well. It is perfectly acceptable to suggest to someone they get checked for it if they are struggling with some very common symptoms. OP was genuinely looking for suggestions there and a number of people had the same suggestion. Seemed reasonable enough to me.
As far as “fad” goes- It’s been thoroughly researched and isolated down to a specific chemical imbalance. Is it common? yes- but it’s also been suggested that a lot of current environments are designed to fuck with your attention; Someone with ADHD would be far less able to cope with it. Perhaps it’s just more noticeable now.
I dislike the idea of drugs as a “fix” as they are not and the idea of fixing is not very reasonable an end goal.
Also yes the world is designed to pick at that and it clearly is affecting and dragging down people further up the spectrum of capable time management.
This culture of recommending specific name brand drugs is not one I am comfortable with and one I don’t agree with doing as it really only supports the manufacturer and not the sufferer.
I think we agree that people should be able to get real and helpful diagnoses but I disagree the path of getting there that is often used skipping steps and is far to socially spread, especially using the same mechanisms that eat at people to make their symptoms worse.
I’m so guilty of talking over other people and I hate it. Please fix me.
I’m in the same boat, but one day I just stopped talking and started listening, mostly as a social experiment on myself. Now everyone thinks that I’m really smart. It tears me up inside sometimes, but I like the outcome.
“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
Especially in online meetings with no camera. Without seeing body language, I often think people are done talking so I start talking, but they were just resting between sentences. Oof.
Online is the worst–I think the slight delay is a big factor as well. We both start before either realizes the other was speaking and it’s very uncomfortable.
But also I’m just a bad interrupter. I often have an idea I’m so excited about I just blurt it out without even thinking about the fact that someone else is in the middle of speaking. I don’t know why I’m like this, I’ve tried to stop and I have made some progress but it still happens way too much. Best progress I’ve made so far is rudely start talking, realize 1 second later I should not have, apologize, and tell the other person to keep going.
One thing that kinda helped for me is realising that nobody will care about my point, if they’re still thinking about the point they want to make themselves. Realising that helps me wait.
Only downside is that I then sometimes miss other points, and sometimes also forget my own point still.
Have you’ve been checked for adhd? I have some friends with it and they tell me about similar scenarios
I’ve had a lot of people, including professionals hypothesize that I might have it. When I was younger I was very opposed to psychiatry and behavior altering meds so I didn’t really take them seriously or cooperate with their attempts to find out. But I think it’s possible.
I’ll echo what others are suggesting and say give it a look.
I went undiagnosed for years and really struggled with a number of things. I’d talk over people, interrupt, and finish peoples sentences (to name a few that may resonate with you.) I was consciously aware of what I was doing and frequently battled the urge to do it. I eventually went and got diagnosed …and holy hell what a difference it made. It was no longer urgent to express an idea before it was lost to the “noise.” It wouldn’t hurt to speak with a doctor / specialist about it; you have nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain.
If they had something more important to say they would say it louder
Realizing you want to improve is the first step to growing into a better person!
It’s not the crime people claim it to be IF you aren’t trying to deliberately down others out.
ADHD symptom
Or normal human thing that happens to be applicable to a large current spreading self diagnosis community.
Don’t diagnose others.
OP isn’t wrong: It is an ADHD symptom.
As it happens most ADHD symptoms are normal human things …just with the logic/priority controller broken. Offering an observation isn’t diagnosing - it’s providing a conversation point. Maybe bring it down a notch there man.
There are things to get preachy about: this ain’t one of em.
Have you tried Adderall or strattera?
The first option offered should not be lifelong drugs to take.
That’s why I waited until four other people replied. Thanks for looking out.
Op seems to be on a bit of a crusade - don’t let it get to ya. While I’ll agree that recommending drugs specifically isn’t particularly helpful: I imagine you made the recommendation because you believe that the poster may have ADHD… which could be a thing they may want to look into. A lot of people go undiagnosed and are positively miserable as a result. It wouldn’t hurt to edit your original post with:
strikeoutand clarify your reasoning. I think your heart was in the right place ✌️It’s a crusade to push back on negative habits I see around me? What makes it a crusade instead of just pushback against a normalization inside this community that doesn’t always help and the trend-ization of a medical issue that shouldn’t be a fad?
I agreed with your perspective on not suggesting drugs, however you seemed equally defensive about the mere mention of ADHD as well. It is perfectly acceptable to suggest to someone they get checked for it if they are struggling with some very common symptoms. OP was genuinely looking for suggestions there and a number of people had the same suggestion. Seemed reasonable enough to me.
As far as “fad” goes- It’s been thoroughly researched and isolated down to a specific chemical imbalance. Is it common? yes- but it’s also been suggested that a lot of current environments are designed to fuck with your attention; Someone with ADHD would be far less able to cope with it. Perhaps it’s just more noticeable now.
Alright. I agree with everything you say.
I dislike the idea of drugs as a “fix” as they are not and the idea of fixing is not very reasonable an end goal.
Also yes the world is designed to pick at that and it clearly is affecting and dragging down people further up the spectrum of capable time management. This culture of recommending specific name brand drugs is not one I am comfortable with and one I don’t agree with doing as it really only supports the manufacturer and not the sufferer.
I think we agree that people should be able to get real and helpful diagnoses but I disagree the path of getting there that is often used skipping steps and is far to socially spread, especially using the same mechanisms that eat at people to make their symptoms worse.