ROANOKE, VA—Local claims adjuster David Seaborne, a devoted husband and father of three, died Tuesday at the age of 37 following a long and painful personal battle with a 512-pound eastern lowland gorilla.
This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.
Wow, this one brought back memories. I think at the time I considered having a David Seaborne Foundation Fun-Run for the Cure t-shirt made.