Gals I’m in trouble. Some co-workers and I went to a sporty after work event on Friday and one of them i really vibe well with.
So anyways as a bunch of people start to leave we kinda move to the side as our muscles are also done for the day and get into some deep talk about some worries that have been plaguing her.
At some point we both kinda move to go so we get moving into the changing rooms while taking the whole time. At some point I compliment her charisma and she thanks me in a cute shy tone (you never see her being shy at work). We move out and know that we won’t be taking the same train. Her’s actually just moves in to the station and she ignores it kinda and just keeps walking with me to a later station as my train doesn’t drive from that location.
The talk moves to me as well and my deeper problems and motivations and what not. Anyways as we get to the stop both our trains depart from we keep talking while waiting.
As my train is like a minute from arriving she does a thing that I kept thinking about the whole weekend: she asks really shyly if it is ok with me if she also hops into my train for the 2 stops until our lines split. Idk I could see and feel from her voice how she didn’t want our talk to end and my heart just melted. She hopped into my train for the 2 stops and then got out as planned as she had a later meetup with a friend of hers that was already planned way in advance.
Idk I’m sure I’m overthinking things and also I keep hearing how you’re not supposed to date people from your workplace… but I felt drawn to her from the moment we met for the first time and her going out of her way to spend more time with me makes me quite giddy right now 😖
Idk I kinda needed to share this with y’all
How much do you care about your job? Do you want to be there forever?
Fuck it. It’s hard to find real connection these days. Go for it. She obviously is interested.
Edit: everyone’s saying don’t do it. That’s because we live in a weird ass puritanical society. People used to meet their spouses at work all the time back in the day. I try to avoid dating coworkers if they’re in the same dept / we work closely, but shit. Human connection is human connection and it trumps capitalism for me.
Yeah it’s tough, especially since my possible dating pool is extremely small. But also i like my workplace so it’s a tough decision. Especially since one of her worries specifically was getting to keep her job. Luckily she’s not in my team and we rarely have professional contact. Just the talking in office if we end up in the same one or at the lunch table.
I think I’m gonna invite her to a board game evening with a bunch of others some time and see how it goes. Create opportunities for her to make her intent clear and also talk things through if needed.
I think that’s far enough apart that you should go for it. Seeing each other in passing if it doesn’t work out will sting for a bit but just keep it professional and cordial.
Lesbian here; I agree with the guys. Dating a coworker is a horrible idea. It makes the workplace uncomfortable regardless of whether or not things work out between you two. While you’re together, it makes those around you less comfortable, and it makes it more difficult to get work done properly without being distracted. After a breakup, things get exponentially worse. Having to see and work with your ex every day would be a horrible experience for both of you, and it would obviously make things really rough at work.
On top of that, departmental policies often don’t allow coworkers to date, so both of you would be at risk of being fired if caught if that is the case at your workplace. If one of you leaves or transfers departments, then by all means go for it, but I’d say it’s a really bad idea otherwise. It’s rough having to put feelings on hold like that, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking this will be an exception to the rule.
To add to the don’t date a coworker thing people are saying. I’d say it depends on how closely. Like if she’s just in the same office or something and you don’t necessarily work together much, I’d say it’s not as much of a concern. But I like the idea of being in a happy relationship more than any job so maybe my bias is weird. But you are adults so if you bring it up that you wanna date and you actually communicate if you two can do that at the same job theirs still potential there. You made your interaction together so hecking wholesome that I feel like not trying would be a missed opportunity
I know you aren’t asking me (not the demo), but do not date a coworker. It’s asking for trouble. Wait until one of you changes jobs.
I had the hots for a coworker for about a year and a half. I waited to ask her out until I transitioned to a different department in the same company and worked at a different location before asking her out. I’m glad I did, because it would have been painful and awkward to see her every day when we later split.
Cis straight white male here so take my words or not but dating a co worker is just asking for trouble no matter the sexuality, gender or anything else involved.
It’s just always gonna open you up to serious trouble that you would otherwise never have to even think about.