• HaSch@lemmygrad.ml
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    10 months ago

    I can explain that! Podoliak is tormented by a neural affliction that is very common in the Western world, known to medical professionals as Redditis ugabuga, or in more common usage, “the Digital Disease”.

    This illness has both extraordinary rates and means of transmission, since it appears to spread via the visual centre of the brain perceiving digital signals from a screen. The disease vectors, so-called Nazions - vulgo Hitler particles - originate on websites, typically 4chan or Parler, and gather in the frontal lobe where they execute an SQL injection disabling the parts of the brain responsible for logic, critical thinking, and general conduct. They may also attempt to install a payload insisting that the patient’s own nationality, ethnicity, ideology, religion, or language would be particularly close to Anglo-Saxon culture and therefore superior.

    Symptoms involve frequent lapses in communication (both oral and written), poor judgement of oneself and others, social media addiction, putrid exudations, slouching posture, proneness to scams, and a diminishing social life. In advanced stages this may lead to a solitary life entirely devoid of meaning, pleasure, and joy.

    As the disease becomes terminal, the spine of the patient increases its curvature to such a degree that their upper body folds forward by 180° (although some patients may insist it is 360°) such that the head then enters the rectum. At this point, anything that is fed to the patient has already gone through several rounds of premastication and digestion. In terms more apprehensible to the understanding of the anatomic layman, Podoliak “has their head up their ass”, and “is full of their own shit”.