Too many people are confusing the two. Whenever lemmy.ml or its devs do something stupid, people go “Lemmy is getting worse and worse,” or “I’m leaving Lemmy,” or worse, “I’m leaving for Beehaw.”
If you’re using Beehaw, then you’re using Lemmy. Lemmy is the software these instances run on. If you don’t like lemmy.ml, join another instances that have rules that match your philosophy. Some instance hosts authoritarian or fascist shit? Turn to another Lemmy instance. Lemmy.ml is not even the biggest instance. People who just joined and are unfamiliar with the platform will just think the entire Lemmyverse is run by autocratic admins if we don’t get our terminology right.
Yes. Lemmy.ml is much more reasonable than most things I’ve seen posted on lemmygrad.ml. keep in mind I don’t agree with either of them on overriding political ideology. But lemmygrad is much more in your face unapologetic and trollish about it. As far as lemmy.ml if you don’t go into the specific subs pertaining to those issues you don’t get heavily bombarded by it.