- Which has the strongest financial support and won’t die in a few weeks when it takes off?
- Which is the least likely to defederate (like Beehaw did)?
- Which has the most laid back admins?
Etc, etc.
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go to a smaller instance if you want laid back mods and to not defederate with certain servers
or selfhost d;
Have you considered the excellent lemmynsfw.com instance?