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Onion writers keep breaking into other news agencies and posting articles for them behind their backs. Change my mind.
Sounds unstable. They should attach these kites to sticks that are in the middle of the deck. Then they can use the left over rope to keep the kites attached to the boat.
Sailors could start wearing a black eye patch so they can quickly adjust to the dark when they go below decks.
I also think they should drink more rum but that’s harder to make an argument for
Relevant 30 Rock: