We all stumble. We don’t always have someone to talk to about it, so there’s this thread. What went wrong and can you ever forgive yourself? Probably not, if you’re like me. No judgment.
I’ll start. Every night we do story hour. I read from seven* until eight, each night. Each week we max out the library card. I’m usually pretty proud of that part of my parenting.
*or as soon as they’ve done teeth and pyjamas
Tonight, nothing would do but that I extemporised a story. We call these make-em-ups. I usually like a little improv, but tonight I am tired. I try to chump him with a stolen bit of Chrono Trigger that he’s familiar with. I fess up at the end, hoping honesty pardons the crime.
“No daddy, it’s got to be something you made up.”
The tank is empty, so I think what short stories I know from start to finish. Some imp on my shoulder whispers “scorpion and the frog”.
You must understand, this is a kid who enjoys the Thriller music video and has sat through the original Ghostbusters without fear. Not even the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka had much effect on him.
Still, I wouldn’t have chosen it normally, but once I started I decided I’d best tell it properly, with the appropriate mounting dread and surprise poke near the end.
Oh shit, did he cry when he realised it wasn’t a happy ending. No matter how tough they seem, never forget that kids can be so tender-hearted.
Smoothed things over with a bit of Shel Silverstein in the end, but I think I really did some damage there. I hope he can forgive me.
Fucking hell, you’re a trooper. An hour of story time each night?
Even with your caveat, that’s still a long time!
Maxing out the library card is fantastic though. Go you!
It’s always tough to balance giving them too much with giving them too little. I sometimes worry my eldest is a bit too sheltered (less so the youngest, because they get similar media experiences because it’s not like I can separate their digital time).
Sometimes a bit of scary is good for them, because they have to grow and become prepared for the real world eventually.
My wife always says that we’re raising them to be adults, not children.
It’s just weird. He’s always seemed advanced for his age so it messes with our idea of what he can handle.
By way of update, he’s over it and last night we watched Monster House and he loved that. The confusion continues.
Now, if you’ve got any magic advice about dealing with bathroom procrastination and lying about needing to go, I’m all ears.
Sorry buddy - that’s a bullet we thankfully dodged (just barely for our second one).
But if you need to know how to clean poop off a toddler’s bedroom wall and to stop them doing it, I have a five point action plan and a powerpoint presentation.
Parenting is the hardest, most constantly demanding job in the world. There’s no manual and as much as we try, we’re only human; mistakes are going to happen.
Right now, I’m having a difficult time adjusting to my eldests (5.5) new found attitude. I’ve always been the more patient parent, but since the birth of my son an awful lot of that patience has evaporated into thin air.
If there’s something I need to work on then it’s that.
I’m having a difficult time adjusting to my eldests (5.5) new found attitude
That can be really tough, because the kid doesn’t know what they’re saying, and they don’t have the empathy/awareness to see the effect it has.
Something that’s worked for me is to ask them what they’re doing. “Are you being mean to me?” “Are you trying to hurt my feelings?” My guys don’t really respond to complex questions, so I keep it to yes/no.
I hope it works out for you.
Sounds like when I hit emotional burnout a year or so ago. The last few years have been a lot. I’m trying to heal and come through it more mindful and caring. I guess time will tell, right?
Don’t get too down in yourself. If we try to make improvements each day then I think we’re on the right track.
You know what fucking sucks?
Unexplained infertility. We so desperately wanted more. We’re very grateful for our two, but we always wanted a big family. It’s been 2½ years of trying, and it looks like it’s not ever going to happen.
And I don’t really have more words for it than that.
That’s rough. I hope it does happen for you, there’s always hope.
The trouble is my wife and I are reluctant to go for too big of an age gap, or past a certain age for my wife due to increased risk. So… hope is kinda dying fast.
I can totally relate. We had planned on having two, but after how difficult the first one was we decided better just to try and get this one right… Which is kind of working, aside from all the poop.
