• JohnDClay@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    4·
    1 year ago

    I hate parts of myself a bit. I hate that I’m pretty lazy for example. But I’m pretty happy with me overall.

  • i-liek-french-toast@exploding-heads.comEnglish
    3·
    1 year ago

    I don’t usually hate myself but when I do, it’s usually related to something I did while thinking with my dick that I feel less than honorable about.

    Main one is that there was a girl I had a thing for growing up and through most of hs and college that I let her talk me into a one nighter while she was married to someone else.

    Only happened once and was ages ago. She had already cheated on him with someone else at the time and her and then-hubby were on the decline even then / are no longer together. But not proud of it at all and if I could do it over, I like to think I’d do the right thing and decline.

    Anyway, on lonely nights with copious amounts of alcohol and self-reflection, that’s still something that eats at me.

          • Scruffy_Nerfherder@exploding-heads.comEnglish
            2·
            1 year ago

            I was filled with self hatred to the point where I just decided to kill myself. I drove 3 hours outside of my home, checked into a hotel and swallowed about 200 aspirin.

            God brought me through that, having your stomach pumped is not fun.

            I was trying to pick up the pieces of my life and was working as a Pizza delivery driver. I got mugged. They hit me from behind so hard that paramedics were astonished that I wasn’t dead.

            The muggers ran forward said some crap and it was lights out. All I remember was this darkness that terrified me. When I came to I didn’t hate myself anymore. There are other acts of kindness and mercy that happened during that time that contributed to my freedom from self hatred, but God lifted a large part of that off of me. I have never struggled with it since.

            Now when I pray for change I am always mindful to ask God to change me gently.

            I still have difficulties from the mugging, it really messed me up. With a few simple precautions most people wouldn’t notice them. I don’t mind them at all. Even with the things I have to endure (minor as they are) I am free from self hatred.

  • Scruffy_Nerfherder@exploding-heads.comEnglish
    2·
    1 year ago

    This is such a good question that I have been ruminating on it. Sin is inherently destructive so when we sin it is a self destructive act and the ultimate act of self hatred. When we fight against sin (even if we lose) that is the ultimate act of self love.

    As other posts seem to confirm, the root of self hatred is sin.

    Also keep in mind that Satan hates you and wants to destroy you. Self hatred is not natural. IMHO self hatred is a sign of demonic influence.