Hey Daddit
I’m about to be the father in just a couple more months. My own father, mostly absent, was a raging alcoholic who, in recent years, has made the switch to meth. I have absolutely no concept of being a good dad outside of TV and short interactions with a few of my friends’ dad’s (though, to be honest, most of my friends have shit fathers as well).
So I’ll outsource the question - when do you feel like you’re doing better than your own parents? Is it hard when you don’t have a good blueprint? Any advice?
I’m here. I didn’t have an example, so I’m trying to learn what I can from others but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.
I’m sure you’ll be fine. My therapist actually showed me what a great template I had. It sucked to live through and I don’t speak to my folks, but “literally doing everything different” is a super viable plan that freaking works man. I was at the library with my 8 year old the other day thinking “damn, I never once went to a public library. Sure honey, get another 5 books. Comic books too.”
I’ve done the opposite. I actually had a great template for parenting, I just didn’t appreciate it. Cheating on my wife? Nah. Coaching baseball and getting involved? Yes. Playing games? Yes. Drunkenly abusing everyone I know? Not so much. I take special interest in my kids interests. I teach them what I know. When they’re older I plan to help them financially. Just because your parents sucked doesn’t mean they didn’t show you what to do. And the best part is: I know what drove me far away from them. I plan to foster an environment where my kids want me around when I’m old. Turns out parenting is kinda fun when you’re not a complete piece of shit.