• stephfinitely@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    I’ll pass. While a great idea in principle in practice leads to stalkers and hate disguised as feminist.

    • tal@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      I do not myself like /r/TwoXChromosomes, and I don’t think that it was a great idea to make it a default sub on Reddit back when that happened – IIRC the rationale was to try to improve Reddit’s appeal to women. But it’s…kind of a bitter, angry place, and I don’t think that that makes for a very good default experience for new users.

      However, I certainly think that people who want that environment should have access to it. I mean, people need to vent about stuff. So, hey, good to have it as an option for people.

      • Overzeetop@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        kind of a bitter, angry place

        The way many women are treated, both currently and in the past, I don’t fucking blame them. I agree that it’s necessary for women to have a place for women to vent and seek support, and XX on Reddit provided one outlet for that.

        • tal@kbin.social
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          2 years ago

          Yeah, but my point is, you get a lot of stuff like women complaining about how their boyfriend is a jerk, as he just cheated on them, and looking for a shoulder to cry on. Fair enough, there are people who want that, and there’s legitimately a demand for that. But then you’ve got the combination of women who are upset with various men for various situations in their life complaining about men and Reddit routing huge numbers of new users – including men – into the subreddit and it’s not a very happy mix for either half of the equation.

          Honestly, I’m not really enthralled with politics subreddits being the first place to send new users either. It kind of results in a lot of yelling and angry people, because you’ve got unhappy people who have conflicting views being shoveled in a pile together.

          I’d rather that Reddit had let people just find their own way to subreddits where people maybe had sharply-conflicting views, but as an initial place to send people, maybe landscape photos or cooking or stuff that doesn’t tend to lead to conflict between groups of users.

          I remember reading some article arguing that outrage tends to tremendously boost engagement, and that that’s one reason that media – both social and traditional – tends to encourage it. I think that there’s something to that. I used to read a magazine aimed at Macintosh users. The last page of every issue had an article written by a columnist named John C. Dvorak who would write an article that tended to be about how Apple didn’t know what it was doing and how Microsoft had the right idea. This was at a time when Apple was risking maybe going out of business and a lot of Mac users were really worried about the future of the platform. Invariably, the letters section of each issue was full of letters from outraged readers saying that Dvorak didn’t know what he was talking about in the article in the previous issue. Years later, I remember reading something by Dvorak talking about how he did that intentionally, to get people worked up. It did make me wonder how long that that had been a convention in journalism.

      • stephfinitely@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        I’m not opposed to people having their own space. You are right and like I said I tried it but that was a long time ago. Itcould have become a much better place.

    • JasSmith@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      I stumbled in there once by mistake and it was the largest collection of incels on the whole of Reddit.

      • slicedcheesegremlin@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        I have really bad self esteem and worry a lot about making women uncomfortable, so I went there and ended up being inundated with the “men can never atone for their sins and if you disagree you are an incel and part of the problem” rhetoric. But since they’re supposed to be the “good side,” I felt guilty for not agreeing entirely, even if it meant wanting to kill myself so that women can thrive without fear.

        obviously I still agree with feminism and advocate for women’s rights, but since that place is filled with the venting of millions of people all at once, you have to be careful or it will do damage to your psyche.

        • rosatherad@kbin.social
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          2 years ago

          I’m sorry that you have such dark thoughts and negative feelings because of this :( there’s a very loud, very vocal minority of women who believe men are inherently evil (and there’s a large overlap with terfism too). But that’s just the thing, they’re a minority. Obviously much of what they say is based on truth- that’s how they persuade others to think like them- but it’s not worth listening to them because their intentions aren’t in the right place. You’re absolutely right that communities like that are bad for one’s mental health, too!

          Wishing you well, stranger.

          • slicedcheesegremlin@kbin.social
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            2 years ago

            Thanks, you too! I’m aware not everyone on that sub is like that, it’s just that the people that are infect every space that is even mildly encouraging to their school of thought, just like incels do with self-help spaces.

      • Cinner@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        I believe they prefer the term femcel. But yeah, good God, talk about a sexist cesspool.

  • UnicornKitty@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I am confused on how all this works. I can’t join because I’m on lemmy not that other one. But I can’t find the search function to put the thing it gave me in.