Sometimes I feel anxious talking to people and telling them about my interests in life. Thinking deep down inside my head that most people will be annoyed by what I had to say and just shun me. Especially when it’s a jump from one topic to another that has nothing to do with the previous. I was always told to give to a conversation before I take, however, that’s social anxiety always kicks in. Does anybody else have similar experiences?
That’s why you start with so-called “small talk”. It’s rare that anybody really cares to talk about the weather, or notable local news, or the performance of the regional sports teams. But these subjects are safe. They give your conversation partners an opportunity to give an opinion and hint at their real interests (their families, their hobbies, etc) without broaching subjects that others might find exceptionally unpleasant or offensive.
So, don’t “jump from one topic to another that has nothing to do with the previous”. Give your conversation partners opportunities to change the subject, in a way that feels natural.
Imagine being a meteorologist, and your passion is the weather.
I almost became a meteorologist! 2 years of grad school, but decided to quit before I became the bitterest person on Earth.
I’m not necessarily “afraid” I’ll annoy anyone, but I also understand that no one wants to be locked in a conversation about something weirdly specific that they know nothing about. Ever hear someone go on at great length and in great detail about D&D or anime to a party who simply was not interested? You have to read the room a bit.
I try to give only cursory info on my interests unless prompted or if I’m with someone I know would share the interest. It’s only polite. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting the feelers out for a second to see how someone responds to the topic, that’s perfectly fine.
First off, when someone judges or shuns you for your interests, that says more about them than it does about you. It took me a long time to really internalize that, and it wasn’t easy. Also, it’s a good indicator for people you want to keep around.
I’ve taken the approach of “thank you for letting me know we’re not compatible, so bye Felicia.” (I say this to myself, not out loud)
Read up on Ugol’s Law. There’s a >50% chance that many other people share some of your interests.
Oh definitely with the social anxiety. I also feel guilty if I think I talked too much. Even when people kept asking me.
Just wanted to add that here online, you can expound at length on any topic you are passionate about. If someone is not interested, they’ll move on. If they are interested, they’ll engage with the topic, if they are a troll they’ll say something rude. So, ignore the trolls, chat happily away with any who engage, and you won’t even miss those who don’t care. It’s all good.
