“Riley is pretty. He walks slightly hunched, like the prettiness has been beaten into him with a stick. When Riley was young, his dad subjected him to a Myers-Briggs personality test.”
…
"Whales have triggered two separate panic attacks for Riley. The most intense one, a near-hallucinatory episode, occurred during his wedding ceremony. His father-in-law mispronounced his name in the service, calling him “Ripley”. Suddenly, the groom was beset by proliferating associations from Ripley’s Believe it or Not!, whose whale display featured a preserved foreskin the size of a standard door. Riley entered a catatonic state at the altar. "
“Riley is pretty. He walks slightly hunched, like the prettiness has been beaten into him with a stick. When Riley was young, his dad subjected him to a Myers-Briggs personality test.”
…
"Whales have triggered two separate panic attacks for Riley. The most intense one, a near-hallucinatory episode, occurred during his wedding ceremony. His father-in-law mispronounced his name in the service, calling him “Ripley”. Suddenly, the groom was beset by proliferating associations from Ripley’s Believe it or Not!, whose whale display featured a preserved foreskin the size of a standard door. Riley entered a catatonic state at the altar. "
This whole thing is just so weirdly written.
Seriously. The whole thing felt like a fever dream.
That reads oddly like the Dr Evil’s Childhood monologue.