I’m still pretty early on in my HRT journey at just under 5 weeks of estradiol IM injections and Spironolactone.
One thing that I kind of was expecting but still took me by surprise was the depth of my emotions increasing.
I kept reading about “a larger range of emotional responses” but feeling it is a whole new world! I feel like my emotions have so much more texture and nuance that I pick up on. I can feel them shift from sadness to anger to determination to whatever so quickly and so intuitively.
Before I started E, the best way I can describe how my emotional state behaved was like these blurry blobs of feelings that were difficult to distinguish or identify. Everything swirled around me without me being able to fully experience them. Now they are a part of me and I would never go back ❤️
Could you expand on that? In what way(s) did it change?
Amab enby here, taking E but no anti-androgen. The changes were noticable in the first week, but I don’t have the words… they should have sent a poet. XD
Like, how does one even describe girlsmell? I’ve always appreciated natural body odors in that all-too-brief period between the fading scent of their last shower and the sour tang of going too long without, but language never seems to do justice to something so fundamental…
Anyways, I caught the first hint of changes to my scent within a few days of starting on E. There was just enough girlsmell on me to trigger a memory of one of my partners and I took note of it immediately. That new part of my scent picked up while my boysmell gradually toned down over the next couple of months, though it is still present 'cause of the lack of anti-androgens. So I’ve ended up with a mix of both that I’ve decided to call enbysmell. I’ve also found that my body odor doesn’t build up as quickly as it used to, absent exercise.
You can take E without anti-androgens? I thought E always had to be paired with some sort of T-blocker. How has your body and mind responded to it so far?
I’m asking mainly because I really want to have more feminine features, but there are still some masc features I want to keep that taking T-blockers would get rid of (my functionality down there, for example). So the thought of going on HRT makes me apprehensive. But if I could keep them, I would feel a lot more comfortable moving forward.
This also has me wondering if I’m trans or more likely enby/genderfluid.
Yeah! Estradiol Monotherapy was actually the original form of feminizing HRT before they realized that binary trans women need an anti-androgen to reduce testosterone levels.
I’m also taking Finasteride, which blocks the effects of testosterone on hair follicles, and between the two medications I’m getting almost all the androgynizing effects I want with very few downsides~
The physical effects have been wonderful, my skin is soft now, I’m almost up to an A-cup, and my body odor has changed to the point that I can’t tell my sex by scent alone. My sexual functionality is mostly unimpeded, though it does take a little longer to develop an erection and I’m sure my sperm count is abysmal. My hair has stopped falling out from the androgenic alopecia, and my body hair is growing in slower and more fine. And aside from a tiny degree of thinning, my villainous moustache is unaffected!
For the mental effects, I’m much more in-tune with my emotions and my libido is less insistent but still as strong as ever. It’s more subtle than I was expecting, most likely because I still have testosterone levels in the low end of typical male normality. Feminine orgasms weren’t new to me, I learned how to cum like a girl before I started my transition, but they’re easier to reach and can be much more intense now.
Please do ask if you’re curious about anything! Amab enbies who seek a hormonal transition are the rarest category of trans people but we do exist!