Autistic, newly hatched trans girl 
Love to talk, feel free to DM here or on matrix.
It feels like the problem is who I am. Can’t stop thinking about suicide. Whatever, I don’t have a method so no reason to post this shit. Just going to keep writing in my diary.
But yea, that would be nice. Keep working towards it ig.
Self harm heals up, pain returns, si thoughts return. Literally just kill me 
Trying to be safe, trying to do okay. Sorry I keep complaining about all the same stuff. Just feel shitty and miserable I guess. Trying to resist the urge. The spiral just keeps going, I feel like I have no control over how I feel.
Why am I this way and when will it end. This constant loop is awful and I can’t keep going with it.
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I’ve been in such a pissed off mood the last like day or so, idk what my problem is but I’m going to end up snapping at someone. Was fighting with some computer thing earlier (I’ve put it aside for now, still want to get it done today though…). Anyway at least it isn’t directed inward right now but I am going to fight a mfer if I get the chance.
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Yea, I probably would. Hate it though. Using my vocal cords 
Watched part of a voice training video and now youtube thinks I’m serious. Stop reminding me of my weakness 
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I haven’t posted the last couple days, but I have been feeling good. Like myself again. Just haven’t had a lot to say or talk about. There’s been a couple things on my mind, but they’re not really worth getting into (especially when overall I’m doing well). But, in good news, a friend reached out to me. This is the friend I came out to a little while ago, but we hadn’t talked since then. Sounds like he just got busy with life stuff. Also, going to do something I’ve been needing to do for a little bit now but have been putting off 
No. I’m repulsed by myself.
I would hang out and play some multiplayer games though, finally have some good teammates.
I’m so sorry you have to put up with this.
Please do resist the urge.
I have always heard gossip used with a misogynistic undertone. I don’t know what to tell you if you don’t have that experience.
I have been attacked and driven out of spaces for ‘gossip’
Tell me more about the positive connotations of the word, please.
If you think gossip is a misogynistic term then examine yourself.
I have and don’t use it.
Its a terrible feeling, I’m sorry.
Unironically not a bad idea.
Or at least you could mention that being trans is a thing even once (down with the cis).
Mental pain. My head hurts. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s pre transition stuff. Maybe it’s just how it is for me. :meow-hug: thank you.
So much pain. I’m so hungry right now. I haven’t eaten in a day and a half. I’m starting to cry. If/when I eat something the pain is going to get worse.
Why am I such a failure. Broken. A waste.
Thank you for that, I did not appreciate some of the things that have been said but haven’t been in a place to say anything myself.
I hope you wake up in a better place.
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