“No, you’re not wrong… You’re not wrong Walter… you’re just an asshole… you piece of shit.”
“No, you’re not wrong… You’re not wrong Walter… you’re just an asshole… you piece of shit.”
Use a stack of pennies to derail a train full of chemicals.
It took me a minute to realize the monkey was pulling the gun out of the shirt, I thought he was aiming it at himself at first.
So weird… I’m apparently not functioning on all cylinders today. Thanks for the heads up!
Didn’t say it was He Man singing, but yes, I got the song title wrong.
Another one comes around to gather your empty champagne glasses…
“This one’s still full, want me to leave it?”
“Nah, you can dump it. I wasn’t up for going to the toilet after being called a pig in a blanket…”
That’s brutal…
I went to a middle school that sat next to a farm. A number of our athletic matches were canceled due to the cows getting out and one was canceled because the farmer shot a coyote on our baseball field & left it.
“Jim has returned! But this time he brought us a live horse…. you think he’s still going to ask us to cater its funeral?”
If this was the Singing Sword from Knighty Knight Bugs, I’ll bet it would sing What’s Going On for 10 hours straight.
A family member had this “infamous” email chain. The subject was good, not spammy or obvious, but generic enough to be innocuous.
Length was perfect. Layers of FWDs, pages of them. Enough that you scroll to the point that you’re about to give up, but can’t.
At this point you’re not really even paying attention to the email, you’re just sadistic enough to have to reach the end of the email…
That’s when you look back at the email & there’s a woman goatse’ing you with an apple up her butt.
Neptune’s Nibbles
How many roast quails can fit in a rotisserie chicken?
I think we’re still selling ourselves short here!
The Red Bull of Christ… The Jaeger of Heaven. Take this in remembrance of…
that time we got back out & I bit a police horse.
Don’t forget to track down the sequel. It’s pretty good too.
I hope you get giardia & die of crotch rot. May your colon slowly liquify & seep out of your anus until your death serves more purpose than your life.
I keep reading “Raя” in the Pink Panther’s voice & can’t quit laughing…
Don’t jinx us now… there are plenty of idiots in Washington willing to pay idiots to say the things they want said.
I’d wager this asshole would be willing to say a lot.
Good morning, in less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind.
Mankind – that word should have new meaning for all of us today.
We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore.
We will be united in our common interests.
Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution – but from annihilation.
We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist.
And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:
We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We’re going to live on!
We’re going to survive!
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day you piece of shit!