I see, we are going meta now.

What is it with old people these days? Just lazing about and sipping lattes, probably.

They put a wrong kind of mushroom in charge. Surely it should have been a magic one, and they’d had a proper party.

I agree with Nick.

First seven characters are comments, for sorting the cards automatically if you drop them on the floor, obviously. Strictly 80 characters per line.

UK’s version of Geert Wilders, but probably a fair bit smellier for all the fags and ales he consumes.

That’s not too bad. Tesco and B&Q parking areas have worse offenders most days.

For Neil Peart I’d be happy to overlook any ethical considerations.

That’ll be piss-poor engineering.

However, wiping eyes with fresh chillies is clearly preferable to either.

Too many. And people of Clacton got what they deserved as they voted him in.

Yorkshire Dales would be my destination

Slaps are a tad harsh, don’t you think. Few firm tuts should be sufficient.

‘Operation Early Dawn’ - who comes up with the names? I’m cringing so hard my cheeks hurt!

Fake! The spine is not going to carry weight.

he had entered the city centre to collect a takeaway

That’s one expensive takeway. I hope it was tasty.

Makes me wonder, is either of them interested in cyber security?

The only thing I’d be breaking is a few bones!

The coming weekend will tell us whether the edge is gone.

I was aware that mayonnaise energy density is pretty high, but damn.