I just wasn’t prepared for this cow trotting over slowly at first, and then into a full run as she realized what happened. Then finally nuzzling the end of her mouth into the area under the victim cows head. Like she was trying to lift it.

It was like she was saying “Phil? What was that noise? Phil? Phil??? PHIL!!! OH GOD NO!!! PHIIIIIILLLLLL!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! PHIL TALK TO ME!!!”

And now you’re saying that’s basically what did happen.

Here I was thinking it stood for Sexy Cute Pizza.

Lists are cool? Lists are COOL???

YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!!!

What I have learned is that if you have a simple explaination, but it’s really really stupid, that’s still probably what happened. Because people are stupid.

"Google is getting worse. Now watch me talk about the situation on a youtube video. Youtube is a property owned by google. "

…tell me more of these proton mail services of which you speak!

They don’t get fat…they get EATEN!!! Tasty delicious air snacks. Butterflies are called butterflies because they taste like butter and make ME fat.

All hail MooCow!

Nah. This was like 6 years ago, a random youtube suggestion. Youtube reccomends me some real weird stuff sometimes.

Ok, that I haven’t considered. Old unsold cat toys should be repackaged as cat toys!

The new packaging could say “Remember these stupid things? Well cats still LOVE them! Watch your cat lose their fucking mind! It’s hilarious seeing their little fur brains try to comprehend these simple toys!”

I’d buy a spinner toy like that. Planking however was ALWAYS stupid, and everyone who did it should feel shame.

Whoa! Watch out everybody! We got a badass over here!

You shut your pretty whore mouth!!!

POG’s were, and always be, awesome!

Found the HR woman from 2013 who thought she was being cool…or possibly someone employed by a minor league hockey team.

Mid-20s today? Yeah. Ok.

In your 40s today? Welp…

Kriss-Kross will make ya JUMP! JUMP!

I once saw a video of a dashcam. This guy is driving out in the farmlands, but the roads were twisty like a pretzal made by a drunk guy. And this driver is a real piece of shit. He’s doing like 70 down a twisty road that he can’t see the next turns sometimes. Well he takes this turn real hard at 70, but immediately after the turn, the road turns the OPPOSITE direction almost immediately. At those speeds, and with those hills, his car goes flying over a fence, into a private farm, lands just before a cow, but the momentum carried his car into hitting the cow. I checked the frame by frame gps display. He hit the cow still at 50mph even after hitting the ground first.

This cow goes down HARD. He let out this little whimper noise. The description said the driver died. I ASSUME the hit cow died. But right after it happened, this one cow comes trotting over. Kinda slowly at first, and then with great emergency once it kind of grasped what had just happened. Then she starts moo’ing like crazy, and suddenly dozens of angry cows come running over the hill. They all surrounded the hit cow, and the first cow is just nuzzling it’s head with her own head. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear the emotion there was like the first cow was trying to wake up the hit cow. Then this herd of cows starts angrily mooing at the car. I swear it was like they understood that the car was at fault, and they were pissed. They started running at the car, bashing it with their bodies. The guy inside, was either already dead, or died later with EMS. I’m not sure which.

I just know it was like these cows were a community, mourning the dead, and angry at the killer. And they were COWS!!!

Is…is this what you guys were doing during covid quarantine? I just…played animal crossing.

…what is an SCP?

YOU GO BACK TO REDDIT AND RUIN YOUR OWN PLATFORM!!! I TOTALLY KNOW IT’S YOU, SPEZ!!!

(It’d be funny if it actually were spez. I’ve wanted to punch that guy in the face for months now.)

You gotta be careful with baby headphones. If it’s a boy, he’ll keep the cord. If it’s a girl, she’ll loose her cord, and her teeth will turn blue.