It’s very common for trans people to only realize that something was dysphoria after transitioning or to realize they had more dysphoria than they thought.

Very much so for me. I would have not considered a lot of what I experienced dysphoria, or could not quite pin the feelings. After transitioning, I realized I had more dysphoria than I thought simply due to the fact that I was able to identify and put a name to it.

autogynephilia I think I might have that? But also maybe not?

I am no professional, however, the research is stupid, and has been haunting people for a while now. You are trans. It is perfectly normal to want to like your own body.

two types of trans people, those who find out early and are attracted to men, and those who find out later and are attracted to women

This kind of research conveniently assumes that everyone is hetero, and that the only way to be trans is to be hetero and realize early on, otherwise it’s just a fetish. This is bad thinking, it’s very brainwormed thinking. Do not fall for this stuff, it is meant to be anti-queer. It pushes the message that trans people are okay, as long as they transition young, pass, and marry a man so that they look normal and it never has to be thought of again.

If you are questions whether or not you have dysphoria, read this, it might help you better understand what’s going on and what you want for yourself. Also, dysphoria is not a requirement for being trans.

I definitely relate to you involving school. I functioned “fine” but thinking worsened my depression. I went through school on autopilot, distracting myself from the thoughts in my head. Based on your description, it sounds like you are going through something similar to what I went through, robotic depression and all. Also, the especially adults part hits really hard, and gender issues actually can cause not being able to be close with anyone. I had friends, but I have never had a close friendship, at least for a very long time. This could be gender issues, depression, a combination of both, really.

Everytime I see “he or she” it tickles me, in a bad way. Why was this popularized, or used at all, when “they” is not only a better catch-all when gender and/or pronouns are unknown, AND “they” makes the sentence more fluid and feels more grammatically correct? I don’t know if the cis are alright…

Well, the radlib co-worker strikes again. Always get a bad feeling about him whenever he talks about certain things. It’s like, he’s ALMOST there, but has to ruin it with some sort of lib garbage. Or, even better, some GAMER WORDS just to spice things up, ya know? Just casually drop the r-slur, it was totally necessary to make your point known.

Like, as a queer person, why are you using ableist slurs when many queer people are neurodivergent? Why are you even using slurs in the first place when it’s something you’ve probably been on the receiving end of? Long story short, shouldn’t have expected anything less from a radlib, but these kind of things just piss me off. Why do people insist on language that has been used to hurt others (AND ME) when it’s so easy NOT TO?