Ya it’s more ick to be honest. Feeling weak is when I challenge my mind as to why I feel that way. Those are the thoughts/words/feelings that come to mind but they’re all just from childhood bullying and shit both my parents used to say (they said things like “thank god none of my kids turned out gay, I raised them well”. That sort of terrible shit.
I like being dominant with women sexually and submissive with men and I guess the submissive part is where I start to feel ick about myself. My wife’s fully supportive and says she wants me to do whatever makes me happy and she likes that I’m getting off and she gets to have mfm and mmf threesomes which is a big fantasy of hers. Even with her telling me it’s all okay, the ick is coming from inside the house haha.
I gotta dive deeper and really kill the personal double standards cause I don’t have any of these feelings about other gay/bi/pan dudes.
“U up?”