I read your reply as stating that the only outcomes could be “argue and make things worse” or “don’t do that”, a negative and a neutral respectively.

I perhaps read only the words and not the intent, I think we are may be saying the same thing.

In case we are not :

Not engaging actively frees someone up to do literally anything else, which could overall be more positive than just the prevention of the negative.

In addition some people might consider the avoidance of the argument itself to be a positive rather than just maintaining a neutral position.

Choosing not to engage can also be a positive rather than just the prevention of negatives.

Or perhaps decide that interaction with such a person isn’t viable.

There is no requirement to adopt others particular eccentricities or needs, choosing to not engage can also be a valid choice.

There are of course potential downsides to this, but if each person is unwilling to adhere to a common contract of communication then the cessation of communication is a reasonable response.

TL;DR;

The rules might be considered a list of “immoral things” but in my experience it was treated more as a list of “distracting things”, YMMV.

Then why is it on the list of horrible things?

You mean the list specifically titled “precepts” ?

It does indicate that it’s a list based on what is considered “moral conduct” so i suppose it could be considered a list of “Immoral” things.

I personally read it as “Rules and Guidelines to prevent distraction during the process”.

While i don’t personally prescribe to that kind of moral absolutism i was willing to adhere to the guidelines for a short period to experience the process in it’s intended form.

Attendance isn’t mandatory so people will have to make that call for themselves if they are considering going.

The list doesn’t mention communication, and in fact specifically prohibits lying. That suggests that speacking truly is permitted,

The section titled “Noble Silence” 4 paragraphs down, specifically goes in to the details of the non-communication i was referencing.

and this is a list of bad things

Not sure what you mean here, but hopefully i’ve covered it above.

That’s a list someone makes when they don’t approve of sex (or intoxicants, but that’s another conversation).

Very possibly and i’d guess it comes from the Buddhist origins.

I will state that my experience is that it wasn’t preachy at all, the video recordings do reference some Buddhist stories/teachings but only really to use them as examples for teaching the meditation process.

Given that you aren’t supposed to be communicating in general there is very little leeway in which preaching could occur.

It’s not considered bad , but it is a distraction, there’s supposed to be no communication between attendees.

It’s supposed to be full introspection, afaict.

Don’t know if its the same in all places but men and women were completely separate in the one I went to.

Even if you went with your wife you’d not really be there with her, you’d be two people in the same place at the same time, not communicating.

It’s not really a relaxing holiday kind of place.

I genuinely have no idea if it’s an option for you or if it’d even help but for 10/11 days of relative isolation you could try vipassana

Not sure what the northern US wait times are like, but you generally need to book ahead.

It’s free, it works on a volunteer basis, no idea how if it works for people with no fixed abode but proof of residence was not required where i am.

Do check if it’s suitable for you though, there are rules (albeit not many), they seem reasonable to me but might not be for you.

Isolation wise, there is no communication between attendees, but there are group meditation sessions (though they are also non-talking).

The three aspects that weren’t silent :

• the meditation instruction, it was a one hour-ish video playback per day explaining the process.
• the final day, discussion is allowed.
• optional question time with an instructor.

Same, they are currently still working through the 2019 backlog.

There is the option of going through “Right To Choose” system, which is ostensibly quicker but i think you have to pay for things yourself.

GP or doctor can give you proper advice about that though.

There are officially recognised tests that potentially lead to officially recognised diagnoses. For ADHD specifically that can lead to access to medication you wouldn’t have without the official diagnosis.

For me specifically, the setup and config oftentimes is what I’m doing with the computer, the learning and knowledge gained from the practice is what I’m after, which is good because it’s significantly less fun than it used to be.

Admittedly mine is probably a non-standard case and it ties in with other things in my life.

Condolences on your loss.

Depends on how you define ‘cost’ I suppose, but seems like the trade off isn’t worth it for you, which is fair.

Some might value the perceived benefits much higher than you do.

What if the life I’m imagining I’m protecting is one where I have the option of choosing a platform/application that isn’t scraping the absolute dregs of the barrel to squeeze out that last bit of profit margin.

That’s a win win right?

The way that sentence is structured implies otherwise, but that could be a misinterpretation on my part, I suppose.

Yeah, I’m going with a tiny dedicated infra bootstrapping box with all the tools I’d need to bootstrap the main infrastructure.

Using a hypervisor (proxmox in this case) I have some prebuilt vms’s and container images that I can use for the bootstrap instances so i’d not need to completely hand roll it again should it be needed.

I’m looking at cloudinit scripts to see if that’s useful for this.

I really like packer but I’m hesitant to rely on anything hashicorp until whatever they have going on shakes out.

Then I just load up the bootstrap box with the main infra code and use woodpecker to deploy.

Code and config backed up, also mirrored to newly created infra forgejo instances, just in case.

If I can get a semi presentable cloud init based bootstrap system working nicely I’ll stick it somewhere people can get to it, in case it’s useful to someone else.

I know of it but I’ve not put any effort in to specific practice.

My personal opinion is that most communication between anyone contains manipulation, even if they aren’t doing it consciously, it’s an intrinsic part of how we deal with each other.

The difference is that i don’t have much of a natural instinct for it, i have to practice and be much more intentional, which brings benefits and drawbacks.

I find that a lot of people in general can be manipulated in similar ways (I’m no exception to this) but techniques vary by culture, upbringing, experience, context etc, i don’t like to do it , however, for the reason stated a bit further down.

Identifying which markers work for which people is a a lot of the battle initially.

Unfair is relative and heavily context dependent but in some circumstances yeah it can feel a bit like a cheat, what I’ve found over time is that I’d be cheating myself just as much as anyone else, my goal in general was/is better communication and understanding, if I’m intentionally manipulating outside the norms then the interaction is tainted in terms of learning natural communications patterns.

If they are intentionally manipulating outside of the norms then that’s significantly more interesting and useful for gaining samples from uncommon behaviours.

Lots of practice.

For me it works like an elaborate pattern recognition tree.

e.g. This face in this context means x thing 75% of the time so far.

Then it’s “strong opinions held weakly”, you now have a working hypothesis but it’s just that, a hypothesis.

Every facial/body/word/etc change could be a modifier to the previous assumption. You could also match some newly remembered memory to the situation that also changes the impression of what is going on.

It’s exhausting, but it becomes easier with practice.

It’s gets more refined the more you are around the same people, as you get a ‘feel’ for their patterns.

You also start to build up a library of ‘shortcuts’ that you can sometimes apply to unfamiliar situations/people.

At some point it starts to become ‘muscle memory’ and the energy required to do it is greatly reduced.

YMMV however, I’ve no idea if this will work for anyone else in the way I have described.

I’d also say to remember that everyone is guessing to some degree or another it’s just that your guesses might require a bit more intention, whichever method (s) you settle on.

You do what you can with what you have, that is the best that can be reasonably expected of anyone.

I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure the individual licenses for jetbrains products (the ide’s at least) can be used for commercial purposes.

It’s just that the license is tied to you as a person and not a general “seat” license for the company. You also can’t pay for it with company funds directly.

On the VS side the community edition is free for commercial use provided there are less than 250 pc’s (doesn’t specify what a pc is exactly but i shouldn’t think it’s a worry for you) and the company makes less than $1 million dollars.

To see if the community edition does what you need to can check the official comparison chart : https://visualstudio.microsoft.com/vs/compare/

IIRC Rider is all the same version regardless of license type.

Interesting, thank you for taking the time to write all of that up.

Do you have any information on how easy the resumption of puberty is after that sort of delay?

It never occurred to me that this was possible and I’m interested in how it might work.

Labels aside, the only thing that post contains is a personal opinion, a personal anecdote and then an unspecific reference to something that may or may not exist.

Calling that an argument is a very generous interpretation.

The overview had no mention of a lack of support for “not transitioning” it’s certainly possible I’m missing it or it’s in the full report (which I’ll read when I get a few minutes).

One mention of the need for corresponding levels of support for de-transitioning and some mentions of increased support for other issues alongside the gender based ones.

It sounds like OP had a specific section/sections in mind, if this is indeed the report they were referencing I’d appreciate some indication to which part they were referencing specifically.

“The overview didn’t mention it, but its somewhere in this 232 page report” isn’t the most useful when trying to understand where someone is coming from.