So you started reading published private diaries of someone who is also young at the time they were written, someone with severe enough mental issues that she later dies because of them, and you’ve added the expectation that they should be a roadmap to insights?

That is just not how this works.

And frankly the vast majority of the insights I have into life come from just living life, and reading books can sometimes help illuminate experiences in a more elegant manner for me to reflect upon.