You leftists are faaaaar too demanding of Biben! Think for just a second about what he’d have to do to enshrine equal rights: he’d have to sign the document. With a pen. With his name. The motherfucker couldn’t draw a clock right now; how’s he supposed to write?!

The sales price for floss was 10% higher than it used to be

[Not the Onion (?)]

They call it an intelligence leak but the plan was to strike Iran. More like a dumb ass blood thirsty rabid dog leak.

Anakin, you’re breaking my heart

Every other political philosophy is dogshit dogwater bullshit. Communism will win. Free Palestine.

And somebody has to be the funniest person here. I don’t know what you’d do without me.

Yeah, if NATO goes away and algorithms are mildly less shitty then I get two wins the way I see it.

When I managed to escape the anglosphere for a while I remember going to restaurants where I would order something and they’d be like “Naa, we don’t have it.” It was really quite refreshing and it was a joy for me to just get what was convenient to cook as opposed to having some complicated logistical system to get me a treat. I want to patronize more taverns where they give me a bowl of what’s hot for a silver coin.

No darling; I’d still love you if you were a worm

idk, maybe something in the title about it being fake? I think it’s a type of expression more than a rule to follow.

Gets em every time. That’s a cool billion dollars added to the GDP. My bonus is gonna be so fat this quarter

I made an accompanying badpost in the being annoying cinematic universe

CAUGHT YOU! Now face the wall, LIBERAL

just feeling really annoying:

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Election night was like an unskippable cutscene that was decided the moment the DNC torpedoed Bernie. Either they lose in 2020 or they megalose in 2024.

It’s like watching your manager eat shit because they thought people actually enjoyed their “leadership style.” It’s like demanding that I vote for a pizza party when the opposition is offering to punch my manager in the face (while, of course, your boss gets richer no matter what). If I didn’t have an education in communism fall like providence from the magical good rectangle and tell me to install linux, then red-brown alliance would really hit the spot.

I heard infrequently about Ethan Klein and how Hasan had the kid who likes One Piece on interview. That, along with the rest, sounds like the dumbest drama on the face of the Earth. If I’m going to hear something about Hasan all I want to hear is how much he’s benching nowadays

they kept Hasan off? Deeply unserious

That shit really makes my blood boil. I work tirelessly at Langley to prevent that exact thing from happening! If a leftist is posting too good then I report them to get injected with cringe takes and nanobots. You think I’m just twiddling my thumbs if someone starts rocking the boat??? Sincerely, fuck you!

I have a bunch of coworkers who love using .world too! They sort of look at me funny because I have to monitor “that website where the pig shits itself.” But .world and Langley are literally on the same side so it’s extra hurtful when they belittle my job like that. It feels like a betrayal, honestly…

Sorry, I spent it on a few of those weighted stuffed animals. The computer room here at Langley makes me anxious so I asked for more funding.