I got “harry potter and the rash on the way home”

I think they probably see us as stupid gods

Is that Laci Green?

Omg that’s such a good description for it, I used to get them all the time. Thought I was the only one…

Get some screenshots in the readme!

How was it supposed to work? Was it supposed to scan received dick pics of anything gross because people do have eyes they could use…

I’m really hoping that’s in Fahrenheit

One of my favourites to think about is “How are you?”. Taken literally that question makes no sense. “How are you?” “Well one day my parents had sex and I sort of grew from there…”

The first image is some Instagram photos and the second image is a different person bouldering

What’s Simon doing in a cat cafe?

I used to have a ginger cat called Seamus!

My favourite is the (apparently) Australian saying “I’m so hungry a could eat the ass off a low flying duck”

It’s our first kid as well. Shitting bricks but I’m almost certainly less worried than her so I think my role is to basically support her as much as possible. Thanks for the advice!

Ex wife and ex Ian

My wife is preggers so I’ve got all this to look forward to .

This brass band cover of Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack https://youtu.be/ZeI0PXj7LIw?si=BlnYr_o8IfJ9FKy9

My cat is ginger so he gets “ginger shit” a lot of the time

🎶I’m going to praise you like a shoe🎶

Is it actually possible to do that with your feet?

It is if you’re also a woman