I enjoy having my own SMTP server that I control.

Begging the question.

Also, “Reverse proxy, VPN, Cloudfare bullshit” - you don’t need these things.

None. Why would you use a VPN ?

I don’t run any containers.

I own my own data.

I back up my own computers.

My email is mine.

You don’t need to overcomplicate it, it’s not a competition, and you don’t have to do what everyone else does.