I have a bottle of Dr. Bronners soap that I use for everything

He can’t even buy a chatbot’s love with 44 billion dollars.

Cyberdengism 2077

Yep. Working in emergency I’ve seen three important things:

1. What can technically qualify as “surviving” the sort of injury that would make me a candidate for organ donation. I don’t want to be a prisoner in my body and our MAID laws require that you can physically lift a cup of poison and drink it. Every part of that process seems unimaginably painful if I’m even capable of processing pain.

2. How bleak nursing homes are. If I survive that injury, the only place I can afford is one where a CNA makes near-minimum wage to handle 20+ patients with complex needs.

3. How hopeless being on the transplant list is. Organ failure seems absolutely torturous. With lung failure they come into emergency drowning on room air. With heart failure their legs swell until it’s like they have gout. Dialysis and liver failure are horror shows. Those people are forced to play a pain lottery to survive. If I go to my grave with my organs like a pharaoh I’m just killing X number of people arbitrarily as the last thing I ever do.

The Jake Paul 1 Million Grandpas Challenge

No grandpa is safe. Fans will throw their own grandpas into the ring. He will defeat them one-by-one.

Liberals when they find out their liberal funding base also gets delisted:

Objectively the right wing of the moderate wing of fascism.

I think he’s still destined for a spectacular crash and burn.

2025: his obnoxious bullshit and ego make Trump hate him even more. DOGE proves to be one of the most unpopular things about the administration and it cuts the social programmes that are lifelines for the average republican, maybe fucking their chances in 2026/2028.

2026: They have a big fallout, maybe in response to backlash over him cutting like a third of the federal budget or him trying to play shadow president

2027: Trump sabotages his federal funding out of spite/dislike for EVs. Tesla by this point is a MAGA hat you can drive and its share price is corrected to reflect the lost subsidies/sales. Maybe the economy is so bad by this point that Tesla can’t even afford to import components for cars that people can’t afford to buy. All the while Chinese EVs continue to get better and cheaper while the US market stagnates and ICE cars only become more expensive

2028: Ketamine overdose? By this point he’s probably dead, bankrupt, or did a Business Plot to try and overthrow the government that betrayed him.

I’m still ridin’ with Biden for 2028 though, can’t convince me otherwise.

Jimmy Carter gave up his peanut farm. He’s the only leader I trust to put country over self in 2028/2032.

I can do all of those things and I’m an adult.

That’s more or less what I plan to upgrade to eventually if I get a lot of value out of the one I just bought. There’s so much great camping within an hour’s drive, and minus the lack of bike lanes it seems like it’d be much more fun to bike those canyons than do the really stressful drive.

I ended up going with this level 15 ulock with a secondary steel cable until I can afford one of the really nice angle grinder-resistant ones: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08M6HST7G . That, a hidden GPS tracker, and an alarm system were all immediate purchases. I’m mainly banking on being secure by parking next to more expensive bikes though. That has kept me safe with my current bike and a basic ulock since 2020.

They really understate Mozart. My favourite scatalogical composition of his is “Lick My Ass Right Well and Clean” where he compares his ass to nicely buttered roast meat: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leck_mir_den_Arsch_fein_recht_schön_sauber

Super pretty choir piece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkNePP0DX1A

E-scooters seem like so much fun, but like the skateboards and hoverboards I wouldn’t feel safe going as fast I already do with a manual bike (25-30km/h). That’s the minimum speed I need for commuting. The e-bikes aren’t much more expensive for something I can comfortably ride at 45km/h over uneven paths with hydraulic brakes and shock absorbers.

This youtube channel has great in-depth reviews where they run all the bikes through the same trials: https://www.youtube.com/@ElectricBikeReport . I kept going back to them for every bike I was considering. Converting was an option but my current bike is a $450 super basic commuter that I got at the start of COVID anticipating those supply shocks. The price would be about the same if I got a conversion kit and replaced the components that give me trouble at lower speeds than the 45kph I’d be biking at. Plus if the electrical components fail I’m out of a bike entirely. Instead I’m keeping that bike as my backup/rainy day/guest option.

From what I was reading it seems like the window for sales is largely October-January. If anything you’d get a better deal than I did around New Years Day. This is definitely a purchase to research heavily and invest in. I ruled out so many models where they cheap out on brakes/throttles/safety features/batteries/motors, basically any of the <$1000 dropshipped ones on Amazon. A lot of brands either lack service centres entirely or didn’t have local ones for my potential 30kg deadweight. Most normal shops either charge a premium for ebike repairs or can’t service them due to the battery. It took me a week of obsessively comparing what I could get at $1300 versus the $1000 or $2000 models left, which of the different classes would be the best compromise between my needs, and which was most likely to last at least 5 years without a costly repair. From my research my Xpress 750 model is like the bare minimum of what you should aim for in terms of price/features/quality/support/chance the company will stay in business post-tariffs. The only better options I found were $1800-2100.

A few of the webstores use Affirm as a payment processor with 0-7% APR. My 6 monthly payments work out to like $240~ on that $1300 bike, $35 in interest, for the best compromise between cost and features/quality/customer service I could find <$1500. Still super expensive, but even minor repairs to my car cost enough that I think I’ll genuinely save money from the investment if it cuts my car use down to a couple times per month. Everything car-related is also skyrocketing in price so I’m dreading sinking any more money into that unnecessarily.

(https://lectricebikes.com/products/xpedition-single-battery-blue) This cargo series seems super nice and utilitarian. I was really considering this model (https://blixbike.com/products/packa-electric-cargo-bike) but the only payment plans are at 15% APR so it’s $133 in interest over 12 months of $144 payments.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/onion-wins-alex-jones-infowars-bankruptcy-auction-rcna179936

No shit, it’s not an onion article.

Jones announced the sale on X Thursday morning.

“I just got word 15 minutes ago that my lawyers and folks met with the U.S. trustee over our bankruptcy this morning and they said they are shutting us down even without a court order this morning,” Jones said.

“The Connecticut democrats with The Onion newspaper bought us,” he added.

No clue yet. It’s still shipping since I could only get a payment plan if I bought it online from them.