No explanation, my mom is just kind of crazy and doesn’t understand a lot of things. 🤷 Like, she was a nurse working with doctors who actually knew how to push their children to academic excellence and she often tried to keep up with the Joneses without understanding how it actually worked. Hence buying a dictionary for her child so she could probably go brag to her work friends about doing that.

It was Hanukkah. My cousin and I were the same age, we often fought, so we were always given the same gifts each year. One year, my mom got my cousin the new Kirby game for Gameboy. She said she got me something different from my cousin this time, and it was a little bit crazy.

I was pumped, because obviously this meant I was finally getting a pet chameleon.

It was a dictionary. A big, blue fucking Costco dictionary. My disappointment was immeasurable and my Hanukkah was ruined.