As someone that’s been through all three:
I tried a theme but I couldn’t be bothered much
So I stuck to default theme, knowing it ruined my colourscheme.
Now, I’m on MPV and everything works perfectly, except that I need to run it from a terminal because I really can’t be bothered to do a drag n drop of a file into the mpv window. I’d recommend using mpv with window swallowing enabled for your terminal.
Alternatively, you can use an MPV frontend.
XFCE is working on Wayland support!
Link: https://wiki.xfce.org/releng/wayland_roadmap