I’ve only dated two people (I think I’m about to fuck this current situation up) but it seems like I don’t know how to handle it when the novelty of a new relationship somewhat calms down on my end and I’m dealing with someone who is ostensibly over attached and saying all of these wild things and love bombing me.
Things seemed to be going so well for us, but they suddenly became super physical when their lack of physicality was the exact reason I chose to date them in the first place, and that sort of took me aback :/
I’m posting in the nd forum because I suspect this is an example of not being able to deal with change (we’re on the same wavelength for a bit then I return to reality while they stay up in the clouds). It also takes up a loooooooot of energy. Shit suuuuuuuuuuuucks because I truly thought I had found the one :/
Sounds like you need an open and frank discussion on what you both want out of the relationship. It’s awkward but if you let things simmer it’ll turn into resentment or some other negative feeling. Perhaps if you talk to the other person they might understand and not try to go too fast or you might have such different needs that it would be impossible to compromise and you agree to go your separate ways.
Yeah this is definitely what I’ve been chewing on 🥲 I’m absolutely terrified to talk about this though, I’m not sure how they’d handle it. Do you have any helpful tips for making it a smooth conversation?
There’s no way for a conversation like this to be smooth but you can preface it with how “open and honest communication essential to a functional relationship” and “you just want to be on the same page”
I’m afraid that a) I’m not very good at myself (learn from mistakes not my successes) and b) everyone is different, so there is no one foolproof technique. Just don’t go “we need to talk about out relationship” but perhaps go out for a meal - it’s relaxed, it’s just the two of you, you can have drink and then you steer the conversation around to the topic. It can be tricky being open and frank if you haven’t from the start but the next best time to start is now. It’s hard to guess what people are thinking, so a good place to start is: 'I’m ND, so I may not be able to read your emotions as well as other people, so we do need to talk things through more and be open and clear about out feelings." That should lay the foundations for better communication.