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Pretty meh so far, at least until tonight before I got off work: shortly before closing, I had an asshole come up, buy some cigarettes (I work at a gas station), and then and only then after having finished his transaction, turns to me and says, “Just so you know, there’re only two genders.”
I responded with, “Just so you know, I don’t care.” and then he flipped me the bird without even looking at me as he was walking away.
This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I try to put on a tough face to these dick-waffles, but honestly, it still hurt me and I hate how I’m emotionally vulnerable to it, even if I don’t show it to them. :(
Edit: Hooooly SHIT. The dude just came by today and apologized for his behavior.
I accepted it gratefully and gracefully but godDAMN was I not expecting that. I am…so confused. I am happy…but confused.
It would be great to have a bag of rainbow or trans pride colored gummy candy dicks, so you can tell them to eat a dick (and have some on hand for them!)
Lol, that would cost money they don’t deserve to have spent on them. X3
Venting to the internet got you an apology from an asshole, quick, complain about not getting a raise before your luck runs out! 🤯
I need more money! Goddammit the rent is TOO. DAMN. HIGH.
I bet the guy wasn’t sober when he did that. He probably still thinks that way – alcohol doesn’t make people lie, it makes them far too honest – but realized the next day that the way he had acted was screwed up.
Balls, if that’s the case. Still, at this point, I’ll take what I can get. Lol.
A cat girl dmed me and offered cuddles :3
Thinking about going back to therapy because my flashbacks/anxiety attacks have been through the roof the past week. The meds I’m on have been great for my anxiety generally, I just haven’t been able to find a reliable way to shut down the prolonged adrenaline surges and the fear sweats (ew).
I feel pretty good despite all that, which is part of why I know the meds are still working; instead of spiraling when I start panicking I’m just going ‘damn this sucks’ and cuddling my cat and/or husband. Annoyingly knowing that doesn’t fix the panic!
I joined a dancing class!
I got blood work done and will hopefully get a referral for HRT :3
Getting blood work done would be both terrifying and exciting for me; family medical history has numerous heritable issues and I’m not sure I want to find out if I’ve got some. History of diabetes and a VERY wide variety of heart and blood pressure issues, sleep apnea, degenerative joint and muscle issues, etc
How have other transfems come out or explore their femininity more openly when they don’t look remotely feminine? I’ve been on HRT for 7 months or so, and I just don’t look feminine. I look a little more feminine than I did, but still not enough to be even close to looking natural or comfortable in feminine expression. It just… doesn’t look right. And that makes me feel weird which makes it look even worse.
I don’t want to come out to people, telling them that I feel like a woman, when I look and sound like a man. And it’s starting to limit me in doing feminine things that I need to do to look more feminine so it’s circular, I’m too insecure to book a hair or nail appointment because I look like a man. I hate all of it.
I’ve told some friends and have started trying a more fem voice when playing with them in discord. Been growing my hair out and trying more fem dressing styles, but still look pretty masc I think. I can never get a shave close enough you can’t see stubble. Been wearing a trans flag pin out and about!
Stubble suuuucks! And for body hair there’s that midway point where it’s like a quarter inch long and STABBY!!
I don’t want to come out to people, telling them that I feel like a woman, when I look and sound like a man.
I understand where that comes from, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think the same way when I started transitioning. I pretty much never corrected people when they misgendered me, because I didn’t want to get in their way. I felt as if I hadn’t earned being a woman yet. Now I understand that gender isn’t something you earn. You deserve being treated for who you are, despite how you look or sound like.
I’ve been on HRT for 7 months or so, and I just don’t look feminine.
HRT is basically puberty 2.0, and puberty takes many, many years to complete. I know how frustrating it is to wait for the changes, but that should also give you hope. Even if you don’t like how you look now, that can and probably will change over the years.
Thank you for this, your support really helped.
