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  • Amelia_@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    How have other transfems come out or explore their femininity more openly when they don’t look remotely feminine? I’ve been on HRT for 7 months or so, and I just don’t look feminine. I look a little more feminine than I did, but still not enough to be even close to looking natural or comfortable in feminine expression. It just… doesn’t look right. And that makes me feel weird which makes it look even worse.

    I don’t want to come out to people, telling them that I feel like a woman, when I look and sound like a man. And it’s starting to limit me in doing feminine things that I need to do to look more feminine so it’s circular, I’m too insecure to book a hair or nail appointment because I look like a man. I hate all of it.

    • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      I’ve told some friends and have started trying a more fem voice when playing with them in discord. Been growing my hair out and trying more fem dressing styles, but still look pretty masc I think. I can never get a shave close enough you can’t see stubble. Been wearing a trans flag pin out and about!

      • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 months ago

        Stubble suuuucks! And for body hair there’s that midway point where it’s like a quarter inch long and STABBY!!

    • lady_scarecrow (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      I don’t want to come out to people, telling them that I feel like a woman, when I look and sound like a man.

      I understand where that comes from, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think the same way when I started transitioning. I pretty much never corrected people when they misgendered me, because I didn’t want to get in their way. I felt as if I hadn’t earned being a woman yet. Now I understand that gender isn’t something you earn. You deserve being treated for who you are, despite how you look or sound like.

      I’ve been on HRT for 7 months or so, and I just don’t look feminine.

      HRT is basically puberty 2.0, and puberty takes many, many years to complete. I know how frustrating it is to wait for the changes, but that should also give you hope. Even if you don’t like how you look now, that can and probably will change over the years.