When the only thing neuken me in my keuken is life. 😔
Kutleven!
(The Dutch attach genitals or diseases to words to turn them into swearwords. This one is often used for “shit life” but it literally means “vagina life” which I find very fitting and ironic in this context)
cunt life would be better. Even more correct: a cunt’s life , ie a very bad life.
I took into account that OP’s domain is from the UK, where everybody calls each other a cunt and therefore lifes a cunt’s life by default.
Absolutely fair!
To add a few more examples:
- zakkenwasser (sack/bollocks washer, an asshole)
- lul-de-behanger ([mister]cock-the-wallpaperer, also translates to asshole)
- lullen (dicking/cocking, talking nonsense)
this sounds funny bc keuken sounds like dick in swedish
And kök looks like cock in English, so we’ve come full circle (I know it’s not pronounced that way)
Swedish Chef.gif
Turkey slap
We used to call that a mushroom stamp.
Penalizing someone works too
I read this in Canadian.
“Oh yeah bud, we were just neuken in keuken all night eh?”
“When yer livin’ in the good ol’ American north, sometimes nucken in the keuken is the only entertainment ya have, don’tcha know?”
Ye’ll freeze ta death out here witout yer neuken bud.
I am absolutely convinced that Dutch isn’t a real language. The entire country just makes shit up as they go along just to fuck with the rest of us, and the the entire country is in on the joke.
Makker houd een even heel gouw je grote mond.
gouw
Spreek Nederlands…!
Geef me een klap papa
Un abrazo!
Nederlands regel :-)
Something that’s always confused me is that here we don’t pronounce numbers from left to right. So instead of hundred ninety six (100-90-6) we say honderd zes-en-negentig (100-6-90)
English used to be that way as well:
Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie.
In these lyrics “four and twenty” means 24
Which actually makes sense when you remember that English, before the Normans at least, was very close to dutch.
And it’s all because they are germanic languages (at least old English is), and this is the same in German (vier und zwanzig).
Modern English is still a Germanic language, but with a LOT of Latin and French thrown in.
Yeah, and then we got better
I really, really struggle to see how the Normans made English “better”.
They made a successful cipher that has thwarted their enemies into perpetuity.
Ah, the same way Linux was able to thwart hackers for as long as it did.
I used to work in England as an export clerk for a Dutch transport company. This is the first phrase my Dutch colleges taught me.
I did an exchange program with the Netherlands once (Mgr Frencken College or something) and this sentence and a weird ass kick dance was all I learnt
I think you can add on de keukentafel?
I’m like “let’s look up some jumpstyle videos on YouTube for the onlookers in this conversation” but I think it’s all been deleted out of sheer cringe.
Do you remember what it was called even? We just called it The Dutch Jump Dance but my guess it is not the native dance of your people
It’s called jumpstyle. I found this video which is pretty good (at 1:20) https://youtu.be/aja2Wlp9OD0
The other dances are also very well executed. I think jumpstyle worked so well as a fad dance is because it’s easy to learn, variation is pretty basic, you can somewhat blend in if you can keep a rhythm. Whereas tectonik is fucking awesome but you look like an idiot unless you’re crazy good and wayyy confident.
Jesus those guys are amazing
Would you be able to describe it? I’m genuinely curious.
So, heres the very basic version; you start with your feet apart at the distance of your hips approximately, you jump
- up and down
- up and down
- right foot forward left back
- Left foot forward right back
- Right food forward and lifted, left back (see note)
- Left food forward and lifted, right back
- Like 5
- Slightly rotate to the left, foot still up
- Like 5
- Like 6
Note: That’s what I remember you do with a partner who does the same facing you. From step 5 onwards your right feet (in 6 the left feet) touch
Definitely an interesting mental image to try to paint. Thanks!
If you’re talking early 2000s I know exactly what dance you mean. That was a short but intense fad.
Yeah it was around that time and I am very certain you have the right one in mind. It ended up being the secret “I participated in the Holland exchange” dance in our school and I can still kick it
I did it all for the neuken
Mooie meisjes, met kaas!
Modded fallout 4
This became even funnier because I’m Swedish.
Naken means Nude, which Neuken is pretty close too. Kuken means “the dick”, which Keuken sounds like. So that would translate to “Naked in the dick”.
We could also go with Neuken sounding almost like Nuked, which would bring us “Nuked in the dick”.
This is funny in so many ways with three languages mixed.
