doing HRT but instead of testosterone or estrogen shots, there’s just a syringe full of marinara that turns you italian

ayyy I’m having a spaghet too!

Pasta is literally all that italians eat. They have 3000 different variations of antipasta.

Pizza and risotto are just window dressing, they only pretend to eat those. All pizza joints in italy are money laundering schemes for pasta. So much pasta it’s illegal

So OP, if all you eat is pasta, you are certified Italian

Wait, I can feel it, the - the change uggghhhhhh aaaay paisano, where’s a fella gotta go to get some fuckin’ Soros Bucks around ‘ere, eeeey oyyy I’m walkin’ here!

The hell is wrong with pasta and meatballs? You’re a winner

You’re not missing anything, trust me. Good food isn’t worth all the yelling and intergenerational baggage.

Sounds like a damn good dinner to me

Day 56 of willing myself to become Italian. I have eaten pasta for every meal for 56 days straight. My hands can finally do the 🤌 thing

Not a real Italian until all you eat is gabagool

it’s kind of a genius meal. the tomato based sauce with fatty flavor and decent nutrient density and the carb noodles for calories. it can be jazzed up a lot of ways with other veg and/or protein, the pasta shape can change form or even what it’s made from. so there are a ton of permutations to mimic diversity but it’s fundamentally still prepared the same, fairly quickly and without a bunch of complicated procedures or faffery: a pan for sauce and a pot to boil water and you’re in business.

it’s pretty legit to develop one’s own personal take on tomato-based sauce, developed over time from making it over and over and over.

I mean, there’s a reason even premade sauces sell pretty routinely. it’s yum. hot and ready, cold from the fridge the next day. it’s genius really.

I read this book by this guy from like the 1700s in China, sort of a far east analog to France’s gastronomie. (Recipes from the Garden of Contentment, Yuan Mei… only recently translated to English). anyway, he was super opinionated and crapped all over complex foods and ornate feasts as muddled and wasteful, but was fascinated by simple, economic dishes of just a few ingredients which all worked in concert to satisfy us aesthetically. it made me realize that working people’s meals in history are what we all salivate for. rich snobs have their banquets and amusebouche b.s. , but really what entices people’s hearts and satiates them are old peasant and working people’s uncomplicated dishes, using cooking forms invented by working people to quickly and efficiently feed their families. even many industrial preprepared foods are imitations of these, like Mac n cheese or a cup of noodles, pretty much all the classic canned soups.

Mom, my online friends are bullying me again!

But yeah. Do what I do and take any Italian descent you have way too seriously. It’s fun learning the language, Bocce ball, and other fun stuff. But it also infuriates me how actual Italians are ruining Italy with fascist-neolib ghouls like Meloni.

What are your favorite mob movies? I watched Miller’s Crossing recently and really enjoyed it